To kill your father in a dream would not stop this anxiety connected with him. Even if he was gone from your Life completely, it would not stop these feelings of abandonment and anger toward him. The very fact that you have put off communicating with him for a whole year, only adds to the rage you feel. Have you ever confronted your father with his mistreatment of you, as a child? You might find it a better way to come to terms with him, if you bring out the issue into the open air. It is time, isn't it? Maybe he is not your real father, and he resents you for that reason. Ask him for the reason why he ignores you. And be prepared for all of HIS Hate to come pouring out onto you. Perhaps you are not the only one to feel as you do. Take into account, your mother or any siblings. You must find a way to release your father completely, so the memory of his treatment of you does not follow you as you move forward in Life. If it takes going to a therapist and talking your way through it, then so be it. I wish you well.