You just said Allah is unjust, not forbearing, unkind, unloving, not aware or all aware of your feelings. You have accused Allah of things that are not true at all. And Allah is definitely the Just, the Forbearing, the Patient One, Most Loving, the Beloved, Most Compassionate, Most Kind, All-aware of all things and acquainted with all things.
You are not thinking about Al-Adl, Al- Halim, Al-Kariim, Ar-Rahman, Al-Wadud, Al-Kabir, Al-Wakeel.
You should be thinking about Allah's Beautiful Names, Asma Al-Husna and you should be studying them very deeply and thinking about Allah very deeply and should be calling upon Allah constantly.
And when Allah loves someone, Allah expresses His love and tests that person. You should think about Allah's test.
You've doubted Allah's love. Allah's Love is infinite and most vast..much greater than the love families have, greater than the love of a mother and you should go back to Allah, take it back and repent sincerely.
Furthermore, Allah doesn't like oppressors and Allah is always with the one that is oppressed and always accepts Dua of the one that is oppressed.
The Dua of a just king, the Dua of a mother, the Dua of a Prophet of Allah, and the Dua of an oppressed person are always accepted and immediately maybe because these people are exceptional yet it doesn't mean Allah doesn't accept the Duas of others.
Allah is always listening, always hearing you, always seeing you, always responding to you. Allah is Al-Mujib and wants you to make supplications always. In fact, Allah wants you and others to make supplications 100x a day because Allah wants you to talk to Him and because He loves you.
Think of Ar-Rahman and Ar-Rahman, the Most Compassionate, is helping you right now and does care about your feelings and Allah knows everything.
Its so very wrong of you to say Allah never cared once. How do you know that Allah doesn't care? Don't listen to Shaitan, Shaitan wants you to hate Allah and believe in lies. Shaitan wants you to doubt Allah and forget Allah and say horrible, untrue things about Allah. While Allah is perfect and never ever does wrongdoing.
How can you say Allah doesn't care when He is sustaining you, still feeding you, still providing clothing, water, etc, still allowing your heart to beat.
You are forgetting Allah is Rabb. You are forgetting, all happiness is in the Hands of Allah. Everything is in the Hands of Allah. You should be begging Allah what you want if you want something and it is Allah who is shy when you are begging sincerely and Allah has to refuse because Allah Azza Wajal knows what's best for you, what's harmful for you and has to return your hands empty yet Allah loves to fill people's hands.
Allah is well acquainted with all things and Allah is aware of every single tear that falls from your eyes. Allah knows and knows you better than you know yourself and does care.
Allah is never unjust to anyone, never ever and never unfair. How do you know Allah hates you? don't have doubts about Allah. Doubts are evil.
When you pray, do you not know just how kind Allah is when you are facing Allah? Allah is so sweet and always answering you when you are praying. Even if you were to turn away just a little, Allah knows and says to you, Why do you turn away from Me?
Even if you rushed somehow in your prayer, Allah forgives you because He is kind. I don't understand how can anyone leave the Beloved, the One who loves you the most and expressing His love. The One who is mighty and in control of everything who can even make His creation love you.
How can you not see the goodness, the love of Allah even the way Allah responds to you? When you pray and you recite the Fatiha and praising Allah half the time; did you know Allah is praising you, mentioning you to His angels? The way Allah mentions your name to His angels is greater than the mentioning you are making about Allah.
And when you think of Allah to yourself, Allah is thinking about you to Himself alone and that itself is love, is very noble and highly desired from Allah.
How can anyone turn away from the Praiseworthy, the Beloved, the Noble King of kings? Anyone who loves Allah, wouldn't want to look away and even if they could see Him, they wouldn't want to look away and would want to worship Him even more, praise Him more.
Study Allah's Beautiful Names, learn more, make yourself to memorize His Beautiful Names and learn deeply about each Beautiful Name and know your Creator better. Don't have doubts, whenever you feel doubting or feeling something bad about Allah..remember Allah is the Most Good, Allah is Al-Nafi and seek refuge in Allah from shaitan.
Ask Allah to protect you from shaitan and from doubts. Invoke Allah's Beautiful Names, call upon Allah day and night. If you want to know the truth, say, Ya Haqq, 3x or more everyday and inshaallah you will have truth.
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