All tips are optional, by definition. All tipped employees in the USA are making at least the same minimum wage as non-tipped employees in that state. That's the law. You should only ever tip for "good" service, as otherwise you're rewarding bad behavior.
Yes, many Americans are genuinely ignorant and simply pay extra because they've bought into the construct that "it's the right thing to do". No, actually, the "right thing to do" would be to hire people who want to work for the money they agreed to be paid, then adjust their pay according to how valuable their work is -- without involving the unsuspecting customer. Sure, raise your menu prices if that's what it takes to make a profit. If your service is good and not surly, your business can still be good.