Dv8s
Lv 7
Dv8s asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 4 months ago

Our first breath is taken, only to cry.Our last breath is taken, only to die?

All the breath we take between those two, is life.

I need help with the next line, and something that rhymes with, 'life'. Thank you

Update:

Thank you, for all your suggestions, and ideas, and I think I've got it.

All the breath we take between those two, is life.

How we use it, what we do, is up to us to decide.

4 Answers

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  • Pope
    Lv 6
    4 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    This is a great place to find rhyming words if you've never used it:

    https://www.rhymezone.com/r/rhyme.cgi?Word=life&ty...

    It seems like a part from wife or knife. They're quite archaic words you're going to have to switch to...which would be a shame because the poem has a nice simplicity to it.

    They could go the Fife haha

    • Dv8s
      Lv 7
      4 months agoReport

      All my poetry is written that way, I try to be as concise as I can be, without losing the gist of the piece.

  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    I thought of "strife" too, making an enumeration following the "all..." structure: "all the [this], all the [that], all the strife..."

  • 4 months ago

    i would use the word Christ, bring religion into the poem,,just make it rhyme

    • Dv8s
      Lv 7
      4 months agoReport

      No, I'm not a psychologist, I'm just trying to write a poem.

  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    You may have to redo the life part, but for the next line I would use the word Strife

    Or something that cuts like a knife

    • Dv8s
      Lv 7
      4 months agoReport

      Making the meaning seem futile, and trite.

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