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Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 10 months ago

How to rebuild after a year of depression and self sabotage?

Over the past year I’ve dug myself into the darkest place I’ve ever been in my life. I lost everything, my townhouse, job, car and friends. I never leave my house and due to the gap in employment finding a job (with no self confidence) has been harder than ever. I don’t know if any of you have been here before but I could really use advice. I have nothing and no one and I’m one month away from being homeless. If I don’t fix this now, I don’t think I’ll be around much longer.

3 Answers

  • 10 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    I've written a lot of answers to questions about depression, with advice from experts about standard treatments and evidence-based self-help. You're welcome to click on my name and read.There's a lot of things that can help and a big advantage to having a professional who knows how to use them.

    Here's information about getting help if you don't have money.

    These are what I believe to be the most important things for the problem you're talking about.


    There's something very important to understand - the difference between motivation and energy.

    People say, "I know there are things that will make me feel better - getting exercise, taking care of myself, straightening up the house and cleaning, but I'm depressed and I don't have the energy." The thing is, people do have energy when they're depressed - as much energy as they always do, but for some reason, the system is reluctant to let you use your energy.

    We have to use psychology to coax energy out of our systems. Psychology has some nifty tricks.

    This is a motivation trick that's been used in behavior modification programs since the 1930s. If a task seems like it's too big, think of it as a series of tasks that you can take on one at a time, and start with something really, really easy. Cleaning - start by cleaning for 3 or 4 min and take a 5 min break.

    A famous psychiatrist said that when we can't control our feelings we can still control our muscles. If you tell your arms and legs to get you to the bathroom for a shower, they will obey.

    Try this when it seems that you're too tired to work. Lie on the couch, close your eyes, and get ready to work by imagining yourself working for 5 minutes. Again, think in terms of taking it step by step and starting with something really easy,


    You know the old saying "One day at a time." This is a very, very important principle - taking things one at a time. You can make yourself crazy by trying to solve all your problems at once. Don't multi-task. Stay focused on the task at hand. Take things a day at a time, focused on getting through the day. Or, depending on how things are going, the morning or the next minute or two. My answers have information about learning mindfulness, a traditional practice that psychologists are using. It brings you to the here and now when your mind is scattered all over the past or the future, and this can be very therapeutic.

    Stress management

    You have to relax once in a while and respond to stressful situations without over-reacting. There's a variety of good things, Some are time-consuming but some take no time. This answer rated Best, 5 Stars.


    If your life has been thrown into chaos, you need to make structure for your life - a daily schedule, reasons for getting out of the house, such as exercise, volunteer work, time at the library. Journaling can help a lot with this. Write daily notes on things like working on your structure.

    • Liv10 months agoReport

      Thank you for all of your useful resources! I know this will be helpful as I try to rebuild my life.

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  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    Friend find something that you can do like in my case I fix computers and with all speed get yourself an ad in the newspaper there is jobs like repairing sprinklers where you go out to somebody's house and fix the sprinkler heads that the lawnmower man is choped you can do home landscaping where you plant some flowers and throw down some. You can do window washing. Pick something that you can do and get yourself an ad in the newspaper.

    • Liv10 months agoReport

      Thank you for taking time out of your day to offer me advice! You’re right, there’s something I can do. I just need to do it.

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  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    Unless you want to be homeless you're going to have to discipline yourself. Fix your resume up real nice tonight and make a bunch of copies. First thing tomorrow, shower and put on your nicest clothes. Decide on where you will apply for a job at, then go and do it. It's sink or swim. We all reach those type of places at least once in life, fake it till you make it,. but do it.

    • Liv10 months agoReport

      Thank you! I definitely need to hold myself accountable. I appreciate your advice, thanks again.

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