How long do you wait for a proposal after nearly 5 years together ?

I’m 29, been together for 4.5 years and live together.

Told him at the beginning of the year I want to get engaged by the end of the year(don’t think he took me seriously) We are planning a trip to Japan in September and I bring up the proposal thing and He got really annoyed saying he feels pressured and that every time I mention it, it makes him not want to propose even more. After I got upset He texted me saying he does want to marry me and have a house together one day but didn’t give a time of when we will be engaged

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  • 6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Tell him 4-1/2 years is enough to be ready in your world. Also tell him that his dragging his feet says he really doesn't want to get married. PRESSURE? Pressure is spend my best 4 years on a guy who has no plans to commit. I'm 29 and the bio clock is ticking that's pressure. We have 2-3 years to get married and start a family if we are going to. I've waited long enough. Yes Pressure. Figure it out."

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  • 6 months ago

    He doesn't want to marry you. If you want to get married, leave him and find someone willing to settle down. Don't be surprised a couple of years from now if he ends up marrying someone else.

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  • GEEGEE
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    You've waited longer than many people would. It seems he doesn't want to be married- to you, or possibly anyone. I'd be inclined to not offer an ultimatum, I'd likely just move on, or accept the current situation as is.

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  • kristy
    Lv 6
    6 months ago

    I’d wait at least another 5 years

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  • Tara
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    I just saw this very same thing happen to another lady - after years he gave her the ring - then after a few more years he dumped her for someone else.

    It sounds like he is not wanting marriage - he already has you - but is not wanting marriage.

    It's a gamble to you to take the chance if it will ever happen - or how long you will wait on it.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    I guess you think 5 years is too long .... Why are you still with him? Marriage is a farce

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    What is it you expect to change when married?

    usually the marriage ruins the dream and facts is "you" change after marriage and that makes it fail

    expect nothing to change all things to be as it now when married

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    He needs you to show him you won’t put up with his sh*t.Rarely is the only problem in the relationship the fact that he hasn't proposed. Sometimes we get so focused on why he isn't choosing us instead of asking ourselves if he is really the right choice for us.there are lots of women in dysfunctional relationships who think the only problem is he hasn't proposed. These women can waste years with a guy who is never going to marry them.

    Some women need the validation of the proposal more than an actual wedding. There is something about being chosen, even if it's not by the right guy, that has women clinging to relationships everyone else can see are going nowhere.

    No one should take marriage lightly, but at some point, you must lay all your cards on the table. Marriage can be a wonderful thing, but only if both parties are equally committed. Trust me, you don't want to talk someone into wanting to marry you. If he's giving you signs that he doesn't want to marry you, heed them. You'll thank him years from now.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    you’re better off moving out living separately but still continuing to be a couple. This way it’ll make him appreciate you more and think seriously about marrying you and you’re guarding yourself too for the future.

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  • 6 months ago

    Does not want to propose even more? That statement implies that he doesn't want to propose in the first place. Even if he did, how many more years are you going to have to wait for him to actually marry you? I guess he one who goes by the proverb "why pay for the cow when you can get the milk for free.?" In effect, this guy has stolen five years of your life and never intended to marry you. That's because you have allowed him to. I suggest you seriously ask yourself how many more years you are going to waste on this worthless cause. Or.... you could cancel you're going to Japan and end the relationship and start over now. That would be the thing I would do under the circumstances.

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    if you keep asking he will leave. seems like you want marriage and he does' not. either learn to live together without marriage or leave to find someone that wants it. seems like as you have been together for that long you two must be ok. what is marriage. someone saying a few words and a piece of paper. say in your heart you are married. write it on some paper. there you have it.

    Source(s): 69 years of living to learn
    • ...Show all comments
    • Suzy Q
      Lv 7
      6 months agoReport

      That piece of paper, among many other things, made sure that my husband was recognized as our kids' legal father the second they were born, and that I wouldn't lose the house and our family's income if he were to die. Marriage settles a LOT of legal matters.

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