Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 6 months ago

Should I take my husband's divorce threats seriously?

My husband likes to threaten divorce when he gets mad. But, he also tells me he loves me and I'm stuck with him. I feel like taking his threats seriously and looking for a good divorce attorney to fight for me. It's very stressful for me to have him say he loves me and wants to be with me forever, and the next day I'm the worst wife ever. Recently we visited family out of state. At first I was trying to figure out how to avoid the trip because every time we go, he puts me down in front of a relative. When we return, I voice my displeasure about being disrespected, and he yells at me about divorce. I didn't want to be the weird wife not going with my family so I went. Same thing happened again, he backstabbed me to the same relative and that person is joining him now on badmouthing me. Plus, upon return, he informed me he has also been badmouthing me to his friends and co-workers. I don't understand how he says he loves me and does this to me. He is narcissistic and thinks he has done nothing wrong. He thinks it's okay to badmouth me to everyone. He says he does everything for the family and I do nothing. We both work full-time out of the home and he says it doesn't matter that I do the laundry, take care of our children, etc. because in the future they'll be doing those things themselves. I always brag about him because I love him, but I get the opposite. I've told him I just want him to be nice. We have 2 kids. Should I take his threats seriously or work on this?

12 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Tell him the next time he threatens divorce you'll take the upper hand by filing yourself. If he's not serious this should stop him from using this as ammunition to upset you.

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  • 6 months ago

    Work on what? The bottom line is that you are being emotionally abused. There is nothing for you to work on - YOU are the victim..

    Call his bluff. The next time he threatens divorce, hire yourself a lawyer and file on your own. Seriously. He abuses you because he can. If you leave his sorry ***, you'll be much better off.

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  • tony
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    call his bluff.Another possible consequence of threatening divorce is that your wife may just take you up on it. If you threaten divorce and she says she likes the idea and draws up the paperwork immediately, it is going to be difficult, if not impossible, to come back from that situation. So, unless you actually want a divorce, you should try to keep these thoughts to yourself. Something has to change, but threats and negative promises aren’t likely to get us what we want. Let’s change what we’ve been doing so that we can change the result.”

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    You need to start asking yourself whether you want to stay married to a man who keeps threatening you with divorce.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    why did you marry such a person..

    'if he was not like this before I suggest the reason is now he has been sexually displeased,, a man who get lots of sex is a happy man...

    but your story sounds like there is a big missing part of the story

    ------------------

    if you did not exaggerate ,,, you should pack up and leave

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  • 6 months ago

    One of the most painful things a spouse can say to us is that they want a divorce. Maybe it's time to ask him if he would please stop saying that when he's upset.

    It's unfair.

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  • R L
    Lv 4
    6 months ago

    You need to prepare for a divorce for you and your children's sake emotionally...enough with the mental abuse...time to leave

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  • Ann
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    I hope you work outside the home, because if not, you're going to have to figure out a way to support yourself and your children. Your idiot of a husband is an abuser. He's brainwashed you into thinking you have to support him even when he's emotionally abusive. You have to figure out what you're going to do if you leave, and have a plan for taking care of yourself and your children. Check to see if there's a family shelter where you can take yourself and your children as victims of abuse. If so, pack your bags and leave, and file for divorce. Don't let him talk you into going back, because if you do, the abuse will only get worse. You will have to make some very hard decisions, but if you do leave, file for divorce and don't plan on ever going back. He will know he can out-manipulate you if you return. Think about what is best for your children. If your parents would be supportive of you, enlist their help. And get a nasty divorce attorney. That's the best kind. Don't worry about what other people think--it's what you need to do for your children that counts.

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  • 6 months ago

    Get yourself a divorce attorney. You're married to a narcissist and possibly someone with borderline personality disorder. It won't get better, but your life will almost certainly get worse, and it will eventually affect the children negatively. get out now.

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  • 6 months ago

    Wow. He's got you well and truly brainwashed. He is abusive and horrible and encourages others to abuse you too and then says he loves you and you just accept that like everything else he's told you it's true. He controls you so much that you even 'brag???' about how wonderful he is to outsiders. Sounds like you've worked on it for far too long. Think what it's doing to your children. The sort of treatment they will dole out to their partners when they grow up. What goes on in their home appears to be the norm when it isn't at all. You need to move out and get yourself a lawyer to make sure this guy doesn't rip you off financially as well. Find out where you stand legally. Check with Victim Support to help you get a bit of backbone because you've got years of diminishing self-esteem to recover from. Thank goodness it hasn't completely gone because you are actually asking our advice. Your husband, unfortunately, is a controller. He's probably very insecure and knows all the buttons to press to get you back under his thumb. Resist it. Good luck

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