I feel so alone and I want his love?

I've been alone all my life, since my relatives never loved me and at school I was bullied for being a quiet child, who was really affectionate and liked studying. I've never gone out with someone of my age for eating something or just going shopping or hanging out or whatever you do with your friends. When... show more I've been alone all my life, since my relatives never loved me and at school I was bullied for being a quiet child, who was really affectionate and liked studying. I've never gone out with someone of my age for eating something or just going shopping or hanging out or whatever you do with your friends. When I see couples hugging or kissing or thr guy kissing her and telling how much he loves her I'm about to cry cause in my life none cared about me. Ive been to the point of crying on buses or outside thinking about my loneliness. I fell at first sight for a guy working years ago at the docks and this year I want to find him but who knows where he is now and if he's married or engaged or he has someone I'm sure my heart will break (well, it's already broken). It's hard to live my life. When all the kids were happy I hated myself for the broken nose they did to me at school. Once a talked to a counsellpr about my bullying as a child and teenager and she couldn't care less she didn't help me at all and as I told her she looked so condescending. I feel so alone and felt like I have wasted my life, constantly struggling. I've started a new life somewhere else but it's hard, not harder than being hated and bullied but hard because you have to be always alone and no one there to help you. I need him so bad
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