Am I right to use my kids in this situation?

My cousin left his wife last year for another woman. His wife and he were happy until this woman came into the picture and my cousin was week and committed adultery. Instead of owning up to it he has left his wife and they have 3 kids, one of whom is developmentally disabled. So my brother offered to take my kids... show more My cousin left his wife last year for another woman. His wife and he were happy until this woman came into the picture and my cousin was week and committed adultery. Instead of owning up to it he has left his wife and they have 3 kids, one of whom is developmentally disabled.

So my brother offered to take my kids with his son over to see our cousin who had his kids for the weekend and his lover (they live together now) and the kids could play. I said no. I did not want my cousin seeing all the kids and thinking everyone is fine or my kids having fun with someone like my cousin. They see my cousin's kids when they are with their mother I have remained close with.

Was I using my kids to get revenge or is this a valid reaction to someone as immoral as my cousin and his lover are being? I feel it is valid but my brother seemed to think I was punishing the kids to get the cousin back for his horrible action.
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