Will he want to be my friend again or be mean to me?

I liked this guy, my best friend, a couple years back, but when I told him I liked him he freaked out and said he needed space. I gave it like 3 months until I tried to talk to him again, but he eventually ended up blocking me. I was heartbroken and couldn’t understand why he would hurt me like that. Add to that,... show more I liked this guy, my best friend, a couple years back, but when I told him I liked him he freaked out and said he needed space. I gave it like 3 months until I tried to talk to him again, but he eventually ended up blocking me. I was heartbroken and couldn’t understand why he would hurt me like that. Add to that, that I was going through a very hard time, since I was sick with anxiety and panic attacks. He knew this, but still blocked me. So I decided to email him a couple of days ago, using a fake email account, and told him everything that was going on with my mom, who has cancer, and asked for his advice for how i can make it up to god, because I agreed to go to church every sunday and i didn't. I mentioned that he did know me, but started to hate me, and stopped talking to me for some reason, and that if he knew who i really was that he would probably block me. He emailed me back and told me that god is not punishing me and that i shouldn’t feel like it’s my fault. He then said in the end, “hate you? Who are you?” I replied to him, telling him that he really hurt me in the past, and that i was afraid to tell him who i was out of fear that he would block me. I said that I didn’t want to get upset and cry in front of my mom. I said if i tell him who i was, if he promises that he won’t block me and at least explain why we couldn’t be friends, so i could get some closure and move on. And I told him that i hope that we could be friends again...
Update: because I think that his friendship would really help me deal with my mom’s cancer. He hasn’t replied back yet, but I believe that he called me the other day, it was from the same place where he lives, and I didn’t pick it up. Planning on calling the number back tomorrow. Think he will want to be my friend or will... show more because I think that his friendship would really help me deal with my mom’s cancer. He hasn’t replied back yet, but I believe that he called me the other day, it was from the same place where he lives, and I didn’t pick it up. Planning on calling the number back tomorrow. Think he will want to be my friend or will he tell him to leave him alone? He did hang up on me last year when I called him and blocked my number. Please don’t be mean. i‘m dealing with enough with my mom. Thank you!
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