Feeling very low right now....LGBT. Can someone's give some advice?
I'm a 22 year old gay man with Asperger's syndrome and OCD. I'm in full time employment. Two weeks ago my (now-ex) boyfriend who is bisexual left me for a girl. I'm struggling tremendously with this and I don't have any other friends. I didn't feel the need to have them since he was everything to me. Now I only have my parents for company and I feel very lonely and bleak. Thinking bout him with her (especially sexually) is making me feel physically sick and I've stopped being able to eat. I am still drinking though. I also am having a very tough time sleeping and I'm having nightmares involving people with human bodies but with yellow eyes and dog snouts instead of mouths coming into my room and crunching down next to me.
I have gone into work and I'm struggling very much to hold down my job now which was fine before. I don't feel like I can hold on much more. Especially going out when I see 99 percent of people with the opposite sex and feel extremely different.
Sorry for the grammar error in the question format. I meant 'someone' instead of "someone's". It was an error of the computer.
- Anonymous6 months agoFavorite Answer
I'm so sorry to hear of your pain.
Men can be brutally unkind.
What you should do now is see a physician to get some medication that will help you to cope through the first several weeks or months.
But I promise it will get better.
- Anonymous6 months ago
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28, KJV).
- Happy Thoughts™️Lv 66 months ago
Alcohol is your new friend now I reccomend making a mango margarita.
- iammclaneLv 76 months ago
It's very tough to break up when you have no other social outlet. You have a great deal of coping to do. Here's something that might help:
This might be surprising, but the pain that you are experiencing has nothing to do with what a wonderful lover he was and what a great couple the two of you made. It really has little to do with him, or with the relationship. It has to do with YOU.
You are afraid that you will be alone from now on. You are afraid that you've been used somehow and then discarded. You are afraid that the Aspergers and the OCD have made you unacceptable and defective. You are afraid that this break-up means that you've failed. You're very afraid that this is going to derail your entire life. That's a lot to worry about - no matter WHO is doing the worrying. No surprise that this is overwhelming.
But there's reason to hope: If you imagine that you were talking to another young man and he confessed all the fears in that last paragraph to you, you can also imagine that you would look at what he fears and say "Well, clearly that's not true! It CAN'T be!" And if you can see that for someone else, you can begin to suspect that holds for you, too.
In fact, if you handle this unhappy event reasonably, you will begin to see that. Oh, it will take some time - because you're going to have to grieve a little while. But life goes on, and you will too. To help it go on faster, you should think about activities that you could bear to participate in, once you feel a bit better (and you will). Hopefully you can find some group things that you have an interest in - cooking class, book club, sports, group outings...you name it. Pick something that you've always thought you might like to try. And then find other things like it.
That will help keep your mind from catastrophizing the break-up and keep you from feeling helpless and lost. And it will also introduce you to new people. Who knows? You might even make a friend or two! Prepare yourself for that - something NEW that might be a little scary, but it beats having nightmare dogs sitting next to you.
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- Anonymous6 months ago
Please see a therapist. Seek out one used to dealing with lgbt clients. Many states have pink page listings or get referal from a lgbt charity or gay community center.
Make new friends. For someone who is introverted this can be hard at times. Therefore it is probably best to join established groups so that you can meet a lot of people at once. Most of these people will just turn out to be acquaintances, but some might become good friends or you might make other connections through these acquaintances. Join the local gay community center, volunteer in a lgbt charity, join a pro lgbt church or meditation circle. Join a gym. Eat out more. Hit the gay bars once in a while. See if there is a lgbt group for people on the spectrum near you and if there is not - consider starting one.