Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 7 months ago

Has anyone done a long distance marriage for a few months?

I’ve been offered a new job out of state and will be moving with the kids in August so they can start school. My husband wants to stay at our current home until January of 2020 so that he can work on putting the house on the market, looking for full time employment, continue working, as well as ensure that I’ve found stable employment in the area. (We moved once previously for his job and after 3 months the company went under)

I’m a little nervous as I’ve never been away from my husband for this long of a period of time especially with just me and our 2 kids and no family close by. Has anyone ever done anything like this? What was the impact it had on your marriage? Thanks

4 Answers

  • 7 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    I can understand that it's daunting to be in a place that's new to you and to have sole custody of your kids for a while. But some people have to do this all the time. It's not rare. Most military families do this really regularly and just have to get on with it. And more. Often it's in a foreign country too. So much more challenging. One of the nicest side effects is that absence really makes the heart grow fonder and reunions are great. You are also in your own country. It will be challenging at first, but gets easier every day, and you know there's an end date to it too. It's great that women are now strong and independent and with careers. You clearly have one, so don't now crumble like a 19th century maiden who had to rely on her husband for everything. Put your game face on and get on with it. You'll be fine.

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    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    You should all move together or all stay where you are together, anything else makes no sense.

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  • i + i
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    Too many unknowns -- for example, the

    ages of the kids, how much of your time

    your new job will consume, what type of

    place you are moving to, ...

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  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    We did this for four months when he had an internship two thousand miles away from my job. I kept myself busy and we were in frequent contact, so it was manageable.

    Then we did something very like it again years later for about six months, when he was hospitalized in another city and I was the "single parent" to our kids. It was difficult, made worse by worry, but like military spouses, I discovered a huge wellspring of strength I could tap as needed. Although he'd been the bill payer and money manager, the lawn mower, the car fixer, I was able to step into all those roles perfectly adequately, while still being a good parent and a loving spouse.

    If the marriage is solid and the separation not permanent, you can do this. The easy availability of texting and video chats make it way, way easier than it was when I did it. (OMG, we wrote *letters*!)

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