hurain asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 6 months ago

can u guys review my poem?

i feel like yahoo is the only place where you can get honest, critical reviews on your writing so i made an account. i mean, strangers can be more honest than the people you know right? since there is no consequence n' stuff.

anywho, here goes nothing:

my eyeballs move,


towards the right of my forehead,

my mind, it likes to wander

away and away,

like a michevious peter pan

on a short trip

from his magical wonderland


its that tall lithe cat on a high brick wall,

down below,

murder and evil and the french revolutoin is thick in the air,

the fancy guillotine takes a head,

long live the queen!

my mind,

its an old philosopher,

it cries," eureka! eureka! i have found it.

the meaning to life, finally in my hand,"

scrambling and embrassing,

naked through the streets

politics and religion and what not,

threads through it's fingers,

this sneaky devil,

always where it shouldn't be

my mind,

it is undressing you right now

it wonders,

about the twitch in your skin,

the tilt of your chin,

what are you hiding?

this fool,

it always wonders

what can i say?

i am but a humble, lonely figure

in some crevice of this high mighty cathedral abode

good and evil co exist here,

they rub shoulders and

legendary battles erupt like volcanoes.

it leaves me breathless,

it leaves me hurting.

blame me not!

blame me not!

i am but a collateral damage

of this no man-land.

i fear, i might just go mad

5 Answers

  • 6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Better than my junk. Honestly, for poetry in general, this is nice and has a good flow. Stanza 4 is the best. Good job! You're a poet , and you know it.

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  • 6 months ago

    is this a poem about the hunchback of Norter Dame??? wrote in 2019.....bye

    • Thomas
      Lv 7
      6 months agoReport

      Hi missy

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  • Thomas
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Yeah, from Anonymous people it looks like

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    Quote - ''i feel like yahoo is the only place where you can get honest, critical reviews on your writing ''


    • hurain6 months agoReport

      why do u say so?

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    i mean, basically anything these days can be considered poetry. i am a writer, but not a very good judge of poetry. i do think this one is pretty good though, i like the literary devices. better than some of the writing that's called "poetry" these days. nice job!

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