Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 6 months ago

How do I respond to my husbands emotions?

My husband and I have a two year old son who was diagnosed with autism. When I told my husband he was livid. I was crying telling him it’s really not a big deal and he hung up. He blames it on me for having my son at 43. I also know my husband has a history of cheating on me and he said he should just go knock someone up for a “normal child”. I’m devastated and don’t know what to do especially since my son is involved. Advice????

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Have him read this study that links autism to paternal age. If it were Downs that's usually a function of an older egg. But autism is related to older sperm. https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fu...

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  • 6 months ago

    WHAT? Honey.. a man who becomes angry at his wife because their CHILD has a disability is a loser. A man who blames his wife for becoming pregnant is a loser. You know that baby wasn't conceived without his participation...

    You don't respond to his emotions. You make it very clear that he growthefuckup and deal with his own focking emotions. You make it even more clear that if he EVER suggests to you again that he is not responsible for impregnating you that you will happily free him (divorce) to go impregnate as many women as he wants.

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  • 6 months ago

    Wow. Your husband sounds like a total narcissist.

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  • Janet
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Stop trying to blame him.

    He should stop blaming you, but then we cannot control or change anyone except ourselves.

    He was angry because he felt pain, and has no skills for dealing with pain. So he hides the pain with anger, and if someone gets angry, then they have to find some conscious "reason" to explain their anger In this case, it was "your fault" for being "43".

    No, not reasonable, but emotions aren't logical or reasonable.

    So you married a man who lacks emotional skills. This is what you get.

    Now, are you the same woman whose husband is wanting to knock someone up for a girl?

    Are you a troll?

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  • Ana
    Lv 6
    6 months ago

    Yeah that’s pretty messed up. You need to explain to him that what he is saying is evil and wrong, and that you’re not gonna “let it go” until he apologizes.

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  • 6 months ago

    i had been working with autistic children when younger and did a lot of research. how can anyone diagnose anyone with autism when the earliest u may see it 3 years old? usually 5. because before that a child is usually very advanced for his or her age.

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  • 6 months ago

    Your husband needs some lessons on the unknown causes of autism, how to be a sensitive, caring person, and how to be faithful and honest in a marriage. Apparently, he has fallen short in all three areas. I don't blame him for referring to your son as not being "normal",this is really the case. But no one knows the causes of autism, much less pointing to the age of the mother. If you can determine good enough reasons to stay in this marriage, some couples counseling would be in order to improve much needed areas in your relationship, and for the future sake of your son. If not, well, it may be best all around for you to take your child and make a new life without your husband in it. Good luck, good wishes,

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    Sorry to hear that dump your husband he seems to be a bad husband and a father you should except ur children the way they are of course everyone wishes to have a healthy children’s but if that didn’t happen then accept the fact and love your children the way they are so my advice is to leave your husband

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  • i + i
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Sorry to be harsh, but you deserve everything

    that is happening to you because you chose to

    stay with what you KNEW to be a miserable

    excuse of a human being, and much much

    worse, to bear children with him. Your son

    deserves better. Take your son and leave.

    NOW.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    Get as far away from that man as possible. Your son does not need to grow up with that kind of negativity around him, and quite frankly you deserve better.

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