Am i being used?
Basically i have my friends sister with me due to her mom cycle of going homeless every other year they stayed with me before the mom had money but wouldn't help to buy a 1 thing of tissue on top of that the kids wouldn't clean up u would go to work and school and come home and clean up behind abled bodies fast forward they went homeless again and she called me and ask if her daughter could stay with me for the summer i told them NO (mind you i live 5 hrs from them ) so than a few days passed and they called an said she was coming for a week and i also said No not now but they claim she was already at the bus station and had her bus ticket hours after waiting for her to arrive to my home i called her mom phone to realized i was BLOCKED. I knew than something wasn't right. Fast forwards its been almost 3 months since she has been here her mother sent her 200$ but put it in her hand supposed to be for food to feed her and things she need instead she blew it on resturant food and starbucks now while i been coming out of pocket with everyting pads,food , i have 3 kids i provide for and i like to take them put i pay for her as well she never say thank you she doesnt want to clean nor babysit nothing she is 16 so i been giving her a pass because of this but i feel like her mother is using my kindness because she hasn't tried to give me any thing to assit with her and my grandmother says i am being used
- FoofaLv 76 months ago
Call Child Protective Services and report this abandoned girl. Her mother's in no shape to be parenting her.
- Michael CorleoneLv 76 months ago
his one is a little tough. I mean you have 3 kids of your own and usually this type of stuff doesn't happen to 16 year old kids and family? I mean you have some choices here.
1. You can go to the police and say the things her mother is doing to her.
2 Are you doing everything you can to let this mother know shes messing up. I mean not even joking or being afraid to offend her but are your boundaries clear. Often times we as adults don't set pricise and clear boundaries or if we do we are afraid to enforce them. If people know you are clear about your boundaries they will look for another weaker point.
3. This girl is 16 years old. Are you struggling to make ends meet? I mean i never raised a 16 year old (im a male) but I know how it is to be a 16 year old male. And she has no car, its a lot of work. So you do have a chance to make this girls world and show what love and caring is cause from the sounds of it, nobody has shown her it before.
4. If you are going to get advice remember its just advice. Those people aren't you. So they can suggest you are being used but that doesn't mean I'm going to take it for a 100% considering most people aren't as nice as me and don't really care as much about people to begin with.
5. And the most important how is this effecting you. Your self esteem, your self worth, your self respect. Is it making you insecure well if it is you need to work on your self and get your mental health up. Remember you have to take care of yourself and your family. If you want to make her part of your family you can do that but it sounds like shes on the outside anyway. Who cares about getting used. You can't die with your money or you house. But is it tearing your family apart, bringing your mental health down, or even worse a marriage (you never mentioned anything about a husband/boyfriend). And is she a friend or an unruly teenager. Those are some questions I didn't see.
Edit: you want my advice move the girl in and start teaching her and showing her the ways of life and teach her something. Shes 16 heck 2 years and she will be a young adult able to do what she wants in her life for the most part and she has no clue how to support a family or shes living house to house. Her mother set this poor girl up for failure. You could help her.
- PearlLv 76 months ago
you could call cps and have thern put her in foster care
- Judy and CharlieLv 76 months ago
NEWSFLASH: Yes, you are being used.
And the next time this kid shows up on your doorstep, I advise you to call the police and have the mother arrested for neglect and abandonment.
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- Anonymous6 months ago
Contact these people... they will take her in.
You have been kind enough.
- Anonymous6 months ago
Yes. call the department of children and families
- JonZLv 76 months ago
Kick her out! Tell her to go to the nearest police station and ask for help. They'll put her in touch with social services! They are NOT friends, they are losers and leaches AND you are allowing them to walk all over you!
- 6 months ago
Sounds like you are yes