James asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 5 months ago

Am I being unreasonable here?

The person I am living with has a girlfriend that spends a lot of time over here. She doesn't pay the rent. I smoke weed in the place several times a day and she cannot stand the way it smells. I have gone into my room to smoke, but still- it bothers her. I basically was like you don't even live here and I get to do what I want at my place.

I really don't see how this is any different from me complaining about the way someone's chinese food or something smells. Yet- because we are entering an era of a war on smoking- people feel entitled to not having to smell anything that came from burning plant matter- even if it is not being blown right in their face.

Like if I told her that I don't like the way her cooking smells- she would probably laugh at me and tell me to get over it- how exactly is this any different?

6 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    If it's legal where you live for you to smoke pot she can just deal with it (although if your roommate complains you'll have to change your habits). But if she could get you into trouble for smoking pot it's probably best to find some place else to do it.

  • 5 months ago

    Not unreasonable. She can't dictate to you what you can or can't do in your home.

  • `
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    This your home, not her home. Smoke where you want to. If she doesn't like it, she can leave.

  • 5 months ago

    we aren't entering a war on smoking, it's always been like this. That's beside the point.

    She think she has queen status, but she's just some woman who comes to your place. Don't get into an argument with her, don't try to "reason" with her by bringing up the sound arguments you've brought up here, someone who has the gall to complain about what someone else does in their own house is absolutely not going to consider your side. You are going to run into tons of situations in life like this where reason doesn't matter, but you have to deal with the reality of the situation (that someone is totally wrong by anyone's account, but it doesn't matter, and they'll never critically examine their side even if you bring up reasons. If they do, they will actually just resent you for it, not turn around).

    So, what do you do? You basically just say "it's my place, not yours", and not more. She'll complain and whatever, but she'll see that her doing that won't change anything. You're a nice guy for going into your room just to be kind to a guest who overstays her welcome, you don't need to do that. Just hold your ground, don't talk back to her, just say it's your place, not hers.

    By the way, if you smoke wherever you want (like you would if she wasn't there), and she can't stand it. Maybe she'll spend less time at your place. Win-win?

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    i dotn think so, she needs to pay rent if shes going to be there all the tirne

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    No, she is being unreasonable by stepping into a place you are responsible for paying rent talking about what she does not like. That's disrespectful. If you cannot do what is you want to do in your space where can you do it? She would have gotten some really harsh words from me had it been me. I would make it a point to have the whole house smoked up with one in the ashtray burning setting near the door entrance and two blunts in my mouth and blow it right in her face as soon as she entered.

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