My mom keeps asking me for money, but I don’t have much to give her. What do I do?
I just recently got my first job. Ever since I’ve been getting my pay (every other week), my mother has been asking me for money.
I live with her in the same house. I know there are many bills to pay, groceries & gas to pay for.
I give her a decent chunk of my pay & the rest I put into a savings account. I also owe my girlfriend a couple hundred dollars for all she has paid for me over the years (dinners, clothes, dates, etc).
My mom keeps asking me for money for gas, cigarettes, & groceries. She has her own job and gets paid weekly but bills are high & everything is so expensive. I give her what I can while also considering what I need to keep for myself.
She asks me if I can take money out of my savings account when I have none left in my bank. I have told her I do not like touching my savings as the money in there is going toward my future (an apartment, school, etc).
Though I am giving my mom what I can to help pay for things, it seems she thinks it’s not enough & asks for more every week. I really have no problem with giving her money; I wish I could give her more. She just gets upset with me because I can’t give her more than what I do. However, if I gave her more then I’d have none for myself... considering it is my own paycheck I’d think keeping a bit for myself is alright.
What am I supposed to do? I am trying to spare what I can but it doesn’t seem to be enough for her. I feel extremely guilty about the whole situation but I really have no extra money to give out.
- 6 months ago
Since you have a job.............when you get paid - put half into savings and the other half goes to your mom.
- 6 months ago
No. Your parents should support you. Do not give her money for cigarettes. That is a luxury. Find out the EXACT amount of bills every month and give her half of that. Split groceries. If she doesn't have money, too bad. She should be more diligent. You are paying back your girlfriend, saving, and paying your mom. Seems like she is lazy and not good with fiances. She will learn only if you stop coddling her.
Cigarettes, movies, nights out what she does does on her time can be paid by her income.
- car253Lv 76 months ago
Tell your mom you spent all your savings. Do NOT let her know you are putting money into your savings and/or how much. Tell her NOTHING. It is your money to spend. Do not feel guilty. You already are helping out your mom. Do not over due it.
- Mark MLv 76 months ago
You need to set some boundaries. So much for room and board and that is it.
Find out exactly where your mother is spending her money. What is her budget
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- Anonymous6 months ago
"I also owe my girlfriend a couple hundred dollars for all she has paid for me over the years."
And your Mom has been supporting you since birth, so try paying her back some of that money.
- JudithLv 76 months ago
You don't say how old you are. If age 18 or older you should be handing over at least one-third of your income to her for rent. And actually, if you are legally an adult and it is just the two of you living together you really should be paying half of utilities, food and rent or mortgage - if you want to be fair about it.
So have a sit down with her and tell her you will give her a certain percent of your pay (one-third at least) and that is it. If she can't accept that then perhaps you should consider moving out. If she does accept it then pay the agreed upon amount and nothing more. Yes, life is expensive but a person also has to learn how to live within their income. If that means giving up things or getting a 2nd job then you do what you have to do - I am referring to your mother.
Once you've decided upon an amount to pay her monthly there is no reason why you need to tell her what you do with the rest of your income. It is only your business - not hers.
And just what kind of girlfriend do you have anyway? I don't get why you should have to "pay her back" for your dates. Sure guys usually cover the cost of dates but this should be flexible. If I loved a guy and could afford to cover dates and he couldn't, then I would without expecting pay back. Now that you work and can now pay for your dates then do so - you shouldn't have to pay her back.
- Anonymous6 months ago
your mum is trying to guilt trip you into giving her money, yes the bills may be high but you are giving her a good amount of money and you have the right to keep some for yourself especially because it is going towards your future. your mum should praise you for saving up and respect your decision not try to take it away from you. you should calmly explain this to her and suggest she quits smoking (because its a terrible habit that is throwing money down the drain) and that she finds a little extra work if she can.
- David B.Lv 76 months ago
I'm wondering what she was doing before you got the job? It sounds like she thinks you are her personal ATM or something.
- Rick BLv 76 months ago
First. Tell her to quit smoking and then she might have money. It is ridiculously expensive.
How old are you? If you are an adult living with mom, then you need to pay rent, utilities, food, etc. You two need to sit down and write up a binding agreement with actual amounts, due dates, and consequence.
If you are achild, then explain that you took the job to save money and have a little spending money, not to pay for her cigs and bills. If that is not working out then quit the job.