I can't speak for all feminists, but I want everyone to do whatever they are individually best suited to doing, as long as all of the major responsibilities are taken care of. As long as someone is feeding the kids, someone is putting out the fires, someone is manufacturing the widgets, and so on, I don't care a bit if the "someone" doing those things is an "innie" or an "outie" (and I ain't referring to belly buttons).
I think individual men bear responsibilities towards children they create, because it takes 2 to tango, and no one should have to bear the entire responsibility for raising a child that someone else helped create, unless they genuinely chose to do so (or the person who helped create the child is dead or something). But that's the only "gender roles and responsibilities" I want to hold men to, and I'd feel about the same about, eg, a lesbian couple who adopted a kid or did IVF together, then split up. Noncustodial parent still has to materially support the kid, barring unusual circumstances.
And to the extent what you're talking about is the case? Keep in mind, feminists are not blank slates, they are products of the cultures they were raised in. Sometimes they retain those unthinking certainties from childhood (you know, things like "Don't hit girls" or "A gentleman always...")