Arian asked in Social ScienceGender Studies · 6 months ago

Question to feminists, would you consider being a "gentleman" to be sexist?

For example lets say a man holds the door open for a woman because he believes he is being a "gentleman" or gives up his seat to a woman because he feels obligated to let a woman sit if there is no available seats left for her.

Would you say this is correlated to sexism , isn;t this a belief that men are superior and therefor they must help out the inferior gender?

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  • 6 months ago

    Yes I'd consider it sexist for exactly that reason. By doing that they're basically implying that women are less capable and that they need a little bit of extra help now and then. Of course they don't realise that, they think they're just being polite, so there's no need for the woman to get angry about it. I'd like to say that that's why it isn't spoken about by feminists, that it's just not a big priority. But unfortunately it is mostly due to the fact that most "feminists" want equality but also for women to have extra privileges, which of course isn't equality at all.

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  • Elana
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    "Being a gentleman" covers a lot of territory.

    Opening doors for me and then expecting to have sex with me because of it is neither gentlemanly nor going to happen. That type of chivalry is a nicety which is why I TRY TO PRACTICE IT MYSELF. Being nice makes society run better regardless of which gender does it. Having expectations of reciprocation is, at best, naive, and at worst sinister.

    Yes, if the pickle-jar needs to be opened and I am not strong enough to open it, I will look around for others who are. Since men are statistically stronger than women, I suppose that is depending on being gentlemanly, but I consider that more an issue of those who can helping out those who can't.

    And yes, I frequently help guys with things to make their lives easier, just as I help women with things to make their lives easier. That is part of being a nice person and (to me anyways) just isn't gendered.

    Thing is ... I'm not a feminist. I used to be one until I realized that feminists were relishing their victimhood and used the term "equality" only when it could be used to bludgeon society and men into improving things for women, not in any real sense (like equality of responsibility, fixing education for boys, etc).

    When somebody opens the door for me, I thank them and then basically forget it happened. There is no "quid pro quo" (other than the "thank you"). And when I do things for other people I don't even expect the "thank you". It's not "doing a nice thing" if it is part of some strange bargain.

    • WaldoBC
      Lv 6
      6 months agoReport

      "Having expectations of reciprocation is, at best, naive, and at worst sinister."

      Wow. wonderful line.

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  • Jas B
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    When a man holds a door open for me I thank them, however I hold doors open for men too. The same if I am offered a seat, yet I also give up my seat to a man who because of age or disability appears to need it more than me.

    It comes down to believing in real equality, the very basis of feminism, not the concept men have perpetuated for thousands of years that they are superior.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    All those things are relics of a time when women were forced into such restrictive clothing they literally couldn't open doors or stand on the train. But I view a guy who still does these things as charming. I don't expect it of course, but I don't get on a soapbox and scream about it if it happens.

    • Bill
      Lv 7
      6 months agoReport

      Ummm...chivalry predates those types of clothing choices by a quite a bit. Furthermore, the modern version of chivalry has considerable influences from other parts of the world like Japan.

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  • Bill
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Feminists call chivalry benevolent sexism, so yes, they do in fact consider being a gentlemen sexist.

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  • Remember all feminists have diverse beliefs. Some will appreciate old school courting and others will complain. If you are dealing with a woman who makes a fuss out of your courtesy, she is toxic for you. And one last thing, don't always associate toxic behavior to feminists. Non-feminists can also take courtesy for granted.

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  • 6 months ago

    All men are sick and disgusting pigs which is why I am now a proud lesbian. Us woman can be damn good “gentleman” too.

    How can you refer to “opening the door for a lady or giving up your seat to a lady” as being a gentleman.. when woman can give up their seat for a lady too?

    Source(s): Lesbian and proud.
    • ChemFlunky
      Lv 7
      6 months agoReport

      No they aren't. No problem with you being a lesbian, but all men aren't "sick and disgusting pigs", and in fact relatively few are.

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  • 6 months ago

    Yes men need to stop doing those things and let those strong independent women fix their own tires etc

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  • 6 months ago

    i dont think its sexist

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    A key trait of feminists is known as "hamstering", essentially mental gymnastics. This allows them to justify receiving special privileges while yelling about "gender equality".

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