19 year-old nephew beat up my 12 year-old son after an argument. How should this affect my relationship with my sister?
"Ben" is 19, and seems fine at face value. He got good grades in high school, has a part-time job, and is polite to adults. However, there are deeper issues. Ben has a poor relationship with his mother, since he dropped out of college due to a severe video game addiction.
My son "Robert" (age 12) is different. He has a strong sense of fairness, and is more likely to speak up.
Robert kept insisting that, "It's not fair that you get to use the computer all day, when everyone else barely gets to touch it at all," and "This is not your personal computer. I have just as much right to use it."
It happened again a few days later, when my sister and I were out shopping. This time, Ben lifted Robert out of the chair and tossed him onto the floor. The boys argued for several minutes had a shoving match, which Ben easily won since he weighs twice as much.
In light of what happened, I don't see how
How should we move forward? Can I even continue speaking to my sister?
Ben has truly adopted his mother's penchant for being verbally abusive when stressed out or frustrated. I recall many occasion when he would call the younger kids "idiots" or "retards" or "weaklings" when he felt that they were incompetent in various games or other tasks
However, there was always an underlying element of fear. I could always sense that the younger kids constantly felt that their oldest cousin/brother's approval and validation were prizes to be won. These days, things have changed as the younger