Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 6 months ago

I am crazy for being be mad at my husband for attending to his best friend wedding in Brazil without me?

I cant make it to the wedding for major reasons. I told him I was not comrftable with him going without me but he decided to go anyways. We have had in he past years some issues regarding his behavior when drinking, he just gets super caught on having fun with his friends and then he gets super drunk that he forgets about me or care about me telling him to stop. I feel tht in those situations he jst cares of having fun and does not think of how I feel about it. Then later I have to deal with getting him home and dealing with the whole drunk clumsy prson he becoms, talking and doing nonsense stuff. We have had some discussions because I think he should have self control in social settings and I think he does not need to drink that much to have fun, but he doesn't agree with that. and I am a little insecure about him making the bst decisions or being safe. He thinks I don't trust him at all, that I am trying to be a "Mother" but I try to explain that I don't trust the person he becomes when drinking. Also its uncomfortable for me an ugly women he hooked up with, long time ago when he visited brazil is friend of the bride and will be there. I am just not happy with it at all. But he says that I should trust him, that he feels hurt by me acting like this and not trusting and that he and cares and loves me and that he will do things to make me feel comfortable about it when hes there like calling me and not drinking as much. I am overreacting?

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  • 6 months ago

    Super caught? What is that? You don't really come across as being all that mature to be honest. Relationships require trust, and if you cannot trust your husband you need to work on your own confidence and your marriage.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    Well, that s who you married, so you cannot change him. If he likes to drink with his friends at times and act silly then let him. Let the boys be boys. He shouldn t be carrying you though as it s natural for you to not like seeing him in this way. He should have his boy time with his friends, and when it s time to date he does that with you. He shouldn t be letting his wife see how he acts around his boys because that is a turn-off to a woman. So while I don t think you re overreacting, I do think that you should let him go to the wedding without you. It d be healthier for the relationship.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    You're crazy for thinking him going to this wedding is the problem.

    You're married to a man you don't trust who has a drinking problem. That problem exists 365/24/7 and has nothing to do with the wedding. It's just easier for you to ignore the problem or feel in control when he's at home under your thumb.

    Most spouses don't believe that they need to constantly supervise their spouse or be supervised by their spouse and therefore would be ok with attending a wedding solo. Your marriage has big problems and therefore you're not ok with this.

    As I said, the wedding isn't the problem. Your marriage has fundamental problems.

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