Why am I compelled to say the n-word with my black friends when they say something outrageous?

I sometimes say it with my non-black friends when they say something outrageous, but for some reason, when I'm talking to my black friends, I feel compelled to say it even more! I never do, but I get the urge to.. Why? I used to back in the day and they never cared 'cause they knew it wasn't... show more I sometimes say it with my non-black friends when they say something outrageous, but for some reason, when I'm talking to my black friends, I feel compelled to say it even more! I never do, but I get the urge to..

Why?

I used to back in the day and they never cared 'cause they knew it wasn't disrespect, but nowadays, it's seen as offensive no matter what if you're not black so I don't anymore, lol
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