Tomas asked in SportsMartial Arts · 4 months ago

Going to the gym and doing hobbies isn t boosting my confidence, what else can I do?

I ve been going to the gym for 3-4 years and have been doing mma for 9 years. Do I have confidence in my performance for fighting? Yeah, but thats it. I don t have the confidence that everyone is talking about when they hit the gym. I d consider myself a catch but I just dont have confidence in myself. I constantly reject myself and put myself down even before I started the gym and mma, nothing has changed,

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  • Joe
    Lv 5
    4 months ago

    Stop dwelling on yourself. Your referred to yourself nine times in your little question. That is too much. You need to go outside, find a place to help people and do some volunteer work. You will meet nice, caring, wonderful people. You'll all be working together helping people or perhaps animals less fortunate. When you stop thinking about yourself every damn minute of the day, you will slowly begin to develop an identity as a good guy. you'll get tons of positive re-enforcement from people you respect, and they will respect you. And for gods sake stop dwelling on yourself. Good luck !

  • Bon
    Lv 6
    4 months ago

    You can stop doing the very things that are affecting your self-confidence: "constantly reject myself and put myself down." You cannot develop self-confidence if you are constantly self-sabotaging yourself. Self-criticism has its place and everyone who is earnest about improving themselves should do so from time to time. But overdoing is self-defeating. Here's an illustration of what I mean: man goes to doctor complaining about trouble walking because of the constant pain in his knees. Doctor asks why are his knees so bruised. Man replies he hits them everyday with a hammer. Doctor ask, " Why?" Man said, "To toughen them so he can walk better."

    Essentially, what has happen is that you focused on only the physical aspect of martial art training and ignored the mental (or spiritual) side of the training. You concentrated on how to defeat others, but you forget your ultimate and worst enemy is yourself. How many times has your own decision or choice put you in a bad situation? How many times have you done things you knew you should not have or not do things that you know you should?

    The real purpose of martial arts in the modern world is not really the fighting. Obviously, the techniques exist for that purpose, but the true utility of martial arts today is about cultivating your mind for among other things how to be disciplined and focus such that you are in control and not your whim or emotion such as what you stated.

    Think this is something that can't be done? What do you call that aspect of yourself that made you trained for the last 3-4 years? What made you practice and sweat, and maybe even bled some? Could it be that thing call self-discipline? And since you obviously used it to reach a level that makes you confident in your fighting abilities, what makes you think that same discipline cannot be applied to other things in your life?

    The world "self" is there in "self-confidence" because you have to cultivate it. No one and no things are going to give it to you. You train it like you trained muscles in the gym or techniques in martial arts. It takes conscious and constant effort just as it took constant training and effort to each a level that makes you confident when it comes to a fight.

  • Steel
    Lv 6
    4 months ago

    I'm saying this in all sincerity: you may benefit from talking to a professional therapist. You touch base on issues unrelated to martial arts and having confidence issues in general. Good luck to you.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    just find sornething else to do that you would enjoy

    • Lv 4
      4 months agoReport

      interesting suggestion; maybe doing a type of Authentic K or KF or JudothatsNotmostlycompetition oriented or Authentic Tai Chi for Health would be of interest; terms such as confidence/selfconfidence are often included for marketing purposes; maybe read Tao Te Ching tr.by Gai Fu Feng & Jane English

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  • 4 months ago

    So basically you are your own worst enemy. Why put yourself down? What makes you think everyone else is better than you? Time to change the messages you give yourself. Tell yourself you are wonderful. Doesn't matter if you don't believe it at first. Just keep on telling yourself that you CAN do this. You DO look good. You ARE improving at whatever it is you are doing. Stop beating yourself up. If this doesn't work, go and see a clinical hypnotist/psychologist who will get to the bottom of your confidence problem and help you like yourself a bit better.

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