Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 6 months ago

My daughter doesn't want to go to college. How do I encourage her to go?

She is entering her senior year and when I asked her what colleges she is applying for, she told me that she won't be applying. Instead, she wants to go to some sort of school to become a makeup artist. I'm not happy about her putting her education on hold to do makeup.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    When I took my SAT testing in high school, I scored very high in mathematics. I also have been involved in art and loved to sew, two talents that come naturally to me. My parents wanted to send me to college to take accounting courses due to my math scores. I did not want to go to college for that, but I wanted to wait a year to decide because I was confused about what I wanted to do. Most 17 and 18 year old teenagers cannot possibly decide what they want to do for the next 50 years or so.

    I decided to follow my talent and used my math skills and my sewing skills to make clothing. I was able to quit my job and sew full time from the time I was 22 to the present time. I am now 60. I did not always make clothing because with a sewing machine, I can make so much more than clothes. So, I did diversify and used my machine to make whatever sold well at the time. I have since paid off my house.....all with income from a naturally passionate talent I possessed.

    So, "let" your daughter go to Beauty School to learn what she is passionate about. You never know, she may get bored with it and change course. Or, she could be very happy and make some good money with a natural talent in the beauty industry. You want her happy, right?

    So many people are stuck in the corporate world and are miserable with their jobs. Life is too short to be working 40 hours a week in a job one hates. If this make up business is a mistake for your daughter, she will learn from her mistakes, she will. Let her experience what she wants to do and if it is not right for her, she will make changes.

    My son hated school and vowed never to go to college. He always told me he wanted to be a motorcycle rider and when older, build houses. Well, the motorcycle thing scared the crap out of me, but on weekends with his father, he rode bikes Enduro racing (trails in the woods). Wow, he was great at it and became a power house with trophies galore and even a championship. Even though I did not like the risks involved, I knew my son loved it, so I supported his decisions and yes, he did get hurt on occasion, but he paid those doctor bills. In the mean while, he got his first job at a lumber yard and then began to work with a Master Carpenter, repairing antique homes. He now owns his own small building company and has 3 employees.

    Funny thing.....when I cleaned out his room when he moved out, I found his grade school drawings. Sure enough, there were drawings with motorcycles in many of them and guess what, the houses, garages and barns he drew were not your typical drawings that kids would make, when I looked closely, the structures he drew were FRAMING. So, from the start, he had motorcycles and sawdust running through his veins. He is now 31 years old and so happy with his career and accomplishments.

    Would I have liked him to be a Green Energy Scientist or a CEO of a large firm, yes, but he is happy and therefore, I am and I support his choices.

    I found that, as a parent, our children need our support and with that, they can sore.

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  • 6 months ago

    She only have 1 life!!!!! Let her live it!!!!!!

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  • 6 months ago

    This is the problem with a lot of parents out there. They are way too busy interfering with their kids' plans for the future.

    I let my own kids do what they wanted to do. My younger son went to culinary school.... he graduated, took a couple jobs and decided it wasn't for him. But he did finish the culinary school and got a degree..... he went further and is now a computer tech at a major university. He did his own thing, and is doing well.

    My oldest son didn't go to college at all, but he had a work ethic and started out working at a fire and restoration company. Not the greatest job in the world, but he persisted and a year later he was promoted to managing accounts, working with insurance companies. He subsequently went to work for a well-known insurance company as an adjuster, and after the 3rd year with them, he was making over $200k a year.

    I let my kids take flight without criticizing their decisions. It worked out well for both of them. Not because of a degree, but because of their work ethic and motivation to make a future for themselves. And as males, it took both of them until their mid-20's to start getting somewhere in the working world.

    Let your daughter have her own experiences and stand behind her. She will figure it out.

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  • YKhan
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    I think college is a big boon doggle these days. Going to a trade school is probably much more practical, and people shouldn't be shamed into going into debt for an education that may not even get them a real job in the end.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    You can be encouraging but not demanding. You may have to watch her try the makeup thing first before she decides she wants something more dependable. Some makeup artists are very successful so there's always the possibility that she could turn that into a real career.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    I don't fully agree your job is to back off and support whatever she wants. That's because we don't have a clue who your daughter is!

    Sure, it's true you can't force her to do this, but how would you describe her in terms of motivation? Does she tend to know what she wants and finish what she started? That's very different from someone who doesn't, or who is easily swayed by some random comment.

    For now, walk that fine line between support and caution. You don't want to totally trash her idea, but see if you can identify the average salary of a cosmetologist. Then give her practical advice on what this means when she's ready to leave home.

    Also, it's summer and she's not surrounded by lots of peers talking about applications and the fun stuff they're trying to plan. This might change in the fall. My senior year in hs was very caught up in this stuff, and it was really exciting. This could have a lot more influence on her than what a parent says.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    not rnuch you can do about it, its her choice

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  • In
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Cosmetology school is a trade specific education versus a broad education with no specific career goals. Be glad that she knows what she wants to do with her life. BTW, this decision will save you and/or her tens of thousands of dollars in student loans.

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  • 6 months ago

    Support her. Its her life. As other poster said, if you force her to go to college you'll just waste your money and her time. You might encourage her to take a more comprehensive group of courses to include hair, etc., at your community college if they offer those courses. That way she will have multiple opportunities for employment once she's done.

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  • God
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    You can't live your children's lives for them. If she goes to college when it's not her choice you are just wasting your money. She'll probably flunk out. Let her do what she wants to do. Maybe in the future she'll go to college or maybe she won't. Just support her regardless.

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