what rules should me and my new husband set for both our children?
about a month ago i moved in with my new husband. we both have children of our own, i have two daughters, 16 and 12. he has a son, 14. we walk our children to follow the same rules and be punished the same way as its only fair. the only question is what rules should we set and how should we discipline bad behaviour?. let me know your thoughts and opinions and please give reasons for your answers, thank you.
- AngieLv 46 months agoFavorite Answer
It is vital that you and your husband are both on the same page. The method of discipline isn't as important as the CONSISTENCY. No doubt, there are going to be bumps in the road. There always are when it comes to ALL families, not just blended families. This is totally normal. But one thing that will certainly help tremendously is consistency and you and your husband working as a team. Children can be quite sneaky, and are very good at playing parents against one another. Keep the lines of communication open constantly. Until each child has had the opportunity to become well acquainted with the new step parents, it would probably be best if discipline is only between parent and biological child. If there are disagreements between you and your husband regarding the children, and there will be, do not discuss them in front of the children, EVER. You and your husband should only present a united front to the children. There will be disagreements between you and your husband regarding the children. Again, this is normal, but make sure they are not discussed in the presence of the children. The children should all be taught to respect his/her new step parents, and the children should be taught to respect one another. While the step parents should always make it clear that they are not there to replace the biological parents, the children also need to understand they are to respect them as adults and leaders of the family. If the girls have never lived with boys and visa versa, each needs to understand and respect boundaries such as knocking before entering, sharing bathroom space, etc. Make sure that your extended families do not meddle. This never helps. It is okay for you to seek advice, but they should not try to become overly involved. Blending families is not always easy, but it is certainly possible, as there are many very happy blended families. Keep your expectations high and positive, but also reasonable. There will be difficulties, so expect them. But also know that with the right love, support, patience, hard work, and guidance, things usually work out just fine.
- ?Lv 76 months ago
You know what rules are important to you, what rules you consider too unreasonable, and what rules you don't consider important but don't object to.
Your new husband knows what rules are important to him, what rules he considers too unreasonable, and what rules he doesn't consider important but doesn't object to.
We don't know anything about either of you, so how on earth could we possibly come up with some list of rules you would both be happy with?
You're not starting from scratch. You're merging two existing households with two existing sets of rules. That should be your starting point when discussing this with your husband, not some arbitrary list of rules we come up with.
- 28AKOLv 56 months ago
No1 can tell another parent how to actually run their household. What works for someone else may not work for your household. But generally speaking the basic rules no coming in the house after 10 or 11pm if you not working or attending an approved event or activity. No boys or girls over if you're not home!