I don’t love my girlfriend anymore, how can I love her again?
My girlfriend and I argue all the time and we’ve recently had a really bad argument. My girlfriend is honestly great, she truly loves and cares for me and is genuinely sorry. But all this arguing ( I know arguing is normal but not this much ) hurts me and I feel like I’ve had enough now, I can’t deal with it anymore and I’m becoming more and more depressed. I don’t want to leave her because I know how lucky I am to have her but I can’t do this anymore. Please help me
- 5 months ago
If you feel like you don't love her anymore, then the best thing for you to do, is leave the relationship and find someone who you love.
- rickLv 75 months ago
Just remember that statistically, there are several million potential replacements for her, and at least half of them will be even better than her, Don't continue a relationship that makes you unhappy. It's unhealthy, and totally counterproductive.
- JanetLv 75 months ago
It may not end, but it has been dealt a fatal blow and WILL die at some point.
Trust and honesty go hand-in-hand. WE must be able to trust, and our actions must also be trustworthy. And we must be honest with ourselves if we are going to be able to be honest with another. And if we are not honest, there will be no trust.
Trust and honesty are 65% of what makes a relationship last, and without it the relationship is doomed.
As for fighting, it is normal, but dysfunctional.
We fight because WE cannot face and deal with our pain, so we get angry and then we try to make our partner change .. so WE don't have to work with OUR emotions.
But when we fight, our partner feels unloved, and they feel like they need to stand up for themselves.
ALL relationships have SOME fighting once the infatuation dies out. But it should never be too much fighting because every negative in a relationship needs FIVE positives just to balance out the negative.
And the fighting should NOT start until the couple has been together for a year of more. The sooner it starts, he more fighting there WILL be later on.
Couples who have successful marriages take 20 years of working on their own emotions before they can just relax and accept each other.
Yes, it hurts. Relationships DO hurt. And it is up to US to learn to deal with our emotions, to relax and accept them .. so we CAN accept our partner.
Not every partner IS acceptable, and we all vary in how well we can work with our own emotions.
But fighting always means we are NOT working with our emotions, but are trying to make our partner responsible for OUR emotional reactions.
As for truly loving .. you are mistaking attachment for love. Love is NOT a feeling. Attachment is a focus on how WE feel . .it is selfish. and love is NOT about selfishness.
Love is a choice, and it is the choice to accept and nurture our partner. Anger and fighting are signs of NOT loving the other.
And being "sorry" does not undo the damage. TRULY being sorry means changing how we behave. It is not words, and not ever tears of regret. It is change.
If you are depressed with her, then you are NOT lucky to have her. You are unlucky. Stop lying to yourself. Either this person is wrong for you, or you are not ready to make a relationship with anyone last .. or both.
- Anonymous5 months ago
If you can't do it anymore then break up or take her somewhere nice for 2 night and spoil her
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- TexpersonLv 75 months ago
When a relationship gets to depressing you its time to move on. She may be great and care for you but there are things between you that are negative. Things that you both can't compromise and agree on, so you argue.
No long term relationship can endure so much negativity, its not good for either of you.
Its time to break up.
There are many women in this world. You need to find one you are happy and comfortable with. Of course there are always some arguments, but not to the extent that you should become depressed.
Move on and be happy again.
- 5 months ago
This is hard. I can relate to you. My boyfriend is acting strange lately. I know your girlfriend gets a hint that you feel that way. As a girl, my advise to you is be honest. Decide what you really want. Don't be selfish and leave her hanging. Tell her. If you really love her you commit and you fight for her to stay in a relationship. If you don't then set her free. She deserves to love and be loved. She is worthy of such love.
- tellitlikeitisLv 75 months ago
Lucky to have a girlfriend who hurts you and argues? Come on now!
- FuhrLv 65 months ago
Dump the girl and go out and drink some ales. There are plenty of fish in the sea.