Is he into me? What does this mean?
I’m real bad at relationships and reading what guys mean but 2 weeks ago I met a guy (the old fashion way, not through an app but we were both at the same venue for a concert). We hit it off very well and talked for HOURS the first time we met. So he invited me to his show (he’s in a band) the following week, which was last Saturday. At his show, he introduced me to his dad and one of his brothers. He wanted me to meet his mom because apparently they have spoken about me. At this point, I got the feeling he was interested. Well we have a date coming up Friday, just him and I, no band members, no family, no loud music. He texted me yesterday after he called it a “first date” Saying he feels irresponsible taking me out on a date. I asked why. He said that I’m a special girl and he doesn’t want to hurt me but dating gets him in trouble because he’s very busy (works in tv and commercial production/in a band). Which I understand because my sister does the same and i also have a career, side hustle, and school. So I’m busy too. But at this point, after he said that, should I still pursue him and see what happens? Or should I not waste my time?
- Anonymous6 months agoFavorite Answer
There are some behaviors (including LACK of a behavior) that tell you what you need to know. No interpretation is needed.
If he asks you out on a date, he is attracted to your body. He definitely is interested in sex, but may or may not be interested in you, nor looking for a relationship.
When a man IS interested in a woman, he never leaves her hanging. He thinks she is valuable and is afraid that if he wastes time, OTHER men will see her value and move in ahead of him. Imagine you were walking down the street and saw a $1000 bill on the sidewalk .. would you pass if by and come back to pick it up at a more convenient time? No. It would be done if you delayed.
The longer he is willing to date you without having sex, the more he is hoping someone lasting will develop. The more-quickly you have sex, the more you will wonder and fear what his intentions are.
If he is STILL dating you steadily 6 months after you first started dating, he likes YOU.
If he gets serious and asks you to marry him, after AT LEAST a year of dating, then he LOVES you. Note that asking you to live him is no proof of love ... he might just want the convenience of getting sex, and of you cooking/cleaning for him. Also note that it takes a man at least a year to become serious about a girl … if they move too fast, too soon, it is infatuation and not love, and when the infatuation dies out usually his interest dies out too.
As for pursuing guys. Just don’t.
The stupid ones think all you want is sex, and they will accept sex but not offer a relationship in return.
The selfish ones will take advantage of your interest and play you.
The ones who are NOT attracted to YOU … or who are no interested in a relationship … might decide that they can get sex from you, and then dump you.
The guy who thinks you are hot will chase you. And if he is still chasing you a year later, it might start to turn into love. Assuming there is not too much fighting, and assuming that as you get to know him better YOU are still interested in him.
The first 1-2 years of dating are a getting-to-know-each-other time, and often the stronger a relationship starts out at the beginning, the worse it turns out to be further down the road.
Don’t pursue guys, because the ones who are interested will pursue you. And the ones who are not interested (no matter what they TELL you) will not pursue you. And that is how YOU know which is which.
- 6 months ago
It means what it says.