How do I nicely tell my leader its me or her? A new member is antivax so I cant be around her as she uses my disorder as a reason not to vax?
I am autistic so I m uncomfortable around antivaxxers who use my disorder against me.
I have been an important part of the team for about 2-3 months and even run the instagram
She joined a week ago
- 4 months ago
Explain to your boss that she is insensitive and (assuming she speaks on this often) is too aggressive on her views. It goes beyond “being a bad coworker” in this case- it’s harassment whether she means to or not. Essentially she is saying “you have autism because your parents vaccinated you”. This not only establishes that she thinks lesser of your family (your parents), but also that she believes you would’ve been better off sick (and risking death) than to have your disability. Insist that you do not feel comfortable around her and if they are not willing to speak or terminate her (if it’s come to that) or schedule you on different shifts that you will seek employment elsewhere (as much as it would pain you to do so). She is willing to put personal beliefs before professionalism in the workplace, and that is not okay. Just make sure you are actually willing to do so in the off-chance they are to side with her (I doubt they would do so based on your explanation).
- sparrowLv 74 months ago
Tell her you'd rather not be held up as an example of how "not to be".
Does she know you're autistic?
- bluebellbkkLv 75 months ago
Maybe I've missed something, but I don't understand how anyone can use your autism as a reason not to be vaccinated? Oh you mean that you were vaccinated and are autistic? Tell her to think about the millions of people who were vaccinated just like you and who are NOT autistic.
If I were you, though, I would simply ignore her.
- DixonLv 75 months ago
First, schedule a private meeting with your leader. This makes it a formal "Thing you Want to Say" rather than part of a casual conversation. Then you just describe the things she says and how they make you feel. These are just the facts. Don't get into predicting the future or an explanation of why she is wrong (unless it is asked for), or make any demands. Your statement should end with you saying how you feel about working in the team at the moment and no mention of wanting her gone or you going.
If your leader is worth their salt they will understand that something needs to happen and take matters into their own hands. It is far better that the leader concludes you might leave if it isn't addressed than if you explicitly threaten it.
If they ask what you want them do, again I would keep it factual as much as possible - you want the leader to know how you feel, you don't feel the current situation is sustainable for you. And who knows what they will come up with. Perhaps they will have a word with her and that will be enough.
If nothing is done by a week or so, that is the time to hand in your notice but you don't want to play that card at the beginning.
I would also suggest making a short bullet point list of what you want to say and even practice it. And be calm, or least look calm externally, there is nothing worse to undermine your case than coming across as unhinged.
- How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- SatanLv 75 months ago
Explain that you are not comfortable with the way that you feel that you are being exploited and bullied by one of your co-workers.
Ensure you use the word 'bullied'
Explain this is causing upset and stress, and the matter needs to be resolved.
The reason I say use 'bullied' is that bullying is not acceptable in the work place. It is bullying. If you are dismissed and have explained your grienvance at being bullied, you are in a strong position for 'unfair dismissal'
- Casey YLv 75 months ago
Huh? Why can you not be around the anti-vaxer? I don't get it. How does she use your disorder against you exactly?
She may be using autism as the basis for being an anti-vaxer...just print out the revocation of the doctors license who tried to link vaccines with autism and leave 100 copies around the office. Remind everyone that she is an idiot.
- Anonymous5 months ago
You don't ! Try to be an adult about it and get along with others.
- Jimmy CLv 75 months ago
Try to get along. It is much easier.