Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 year ago

Feeling guilty for bullying this kid who later killed himself? I feel so bad I can't even look at the word bully or suicide, or his name..?

I remember during elementary. I used to make fun and bully this kid. I used to throw food, expired milk at him. I would insult him during recess till he cried. I'll admit, I made his elementary school years absolute hell. This all stopped when he changed school and moved out from city of Scottsdale. In the july of 2017, he took his own life. He was 19. His name was Colby. He was a dirty blonde-haired, green eyed.


I know this will probably haunt me for the rest of my life. Just had to get this off my chest. Been feeling angry at the ******* i used to be. he said on his note something like "i was bullied all my life. but now, y'all don't have to worry about me. I'll finally be in peace. Something I always dreamed off" and at bottom of the note. There was abbreviation. of possibly first and last names. since its written something like "A.P, C.D, A.J etc". and I saw my abbreviation thats my name "J.M"

Update 2:

those were names of those who bullied him. i cant live with myself.

Update 3:

@hohpe I appreciate the answer.

Update 4:

hope I meant.

2 Answers

  • Amy
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    Start doing things to help stop bullying. You can't go back and help that boy who killed himself but maybe you can help someone else

    Sometimes you'll make mistakes that you can't really fix no matter how sorry you are. At that point the only thing you can do is take it as a life lesson. Remember how you feel now for all your life and use that memory to be nicer to people, help people and try to make the world a little bit better.

  • 1 year ago

    yeah, it's more than understandable that you feel extremely guilty about this. i would suggest talking to someone about it if you can.. a therapist preferably, or if that's not an option then a trusted friend or family member. also, maybe reach out to Colby's family and pay your respects? donate to a suicide prevention or mental health organization (ex. NAMI). treat people better and remember that your words and actions have consequences. advocate against bullying. these are just some suggestions. if you really feel guilty and depressed about it, definitely reach out to a therapist though. they'll help you talk through it.

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