Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 6 months ago

I split up with my boyfriend recently, and I'm really confused about what he wants from me. Do you have any ideas?

So we've been together for 6 months, and he is a sufferer of BPD. On Friday, he said he would like to be alone for a while but he put xx in that message. I replied with alright let us know if you need anything. Then, he said don't feel guilty if you move on. Then, I couldn't get a response from him. The following day he said he didn't think it was fair on me, the way he doesn't message all the time. I've told him a few times that it's alright. On Saturday, I tried to get through to him again about rather than splitting up, just putting things on hold but I don't think he liked that. However, on Monday, I messaged saying that if he doesn't reply by tomorrow, I'm just giving up and not contacting him. Then, 5 mins later he replied saying that a relationship/ friendship can feel like the best feeling in the world, but then it suddenly flips and feels like the worst. and sadly its usually permanent. he said he no longer speaks to 6 of his friends because of what happened. he then said its nothing to do with me as a person, he enjoyed the time we had together but just can't do it anymore. he then followed with but pls message me every month or so for a catch up cause it's not you I hate it the relationship, even though I have no actual reason. but thanks for being so understanding and supportive.

Now is it his BPD that's making him feel like he doesn't want to be with him or him as a person as I really like him and don't want to let him go. :(

Thanks for your help!

1 Answer

  • Janet
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    If he has BPD, HE doesn't know what he wants.

    And if he doesn't know, there is no way YOU can know.

    Only those who are emotionally whole and healthy can make a relationship last. The breakup was inevitable.

    And now it is time to let go and move on To stop thinking bout him and especially to NOT interact with him. That is the only way to get over someone.

    YOU need to stop trying to contact him. Even just thinking about him long enough to write out this question has strengthened your attachment, rather than helping ou get over him.

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