How can I help my boyfriend?
He is a bs psychology grad but his passion is in cooking. He studied culinary for i guess more than a year and worked as a line cook for a year but he realized that it cant pay the bills and applied for human resource department. It pays well but he looks uhmm idk how to explain it like pained? He looks awfully tired to go to work everyday. I want him to pursue his dream and passion but i dont know if i can help him in any way. What should i do?
- FoofaLv 76 months ago
I guess if you have the money you could invest in a restaurant for him to run.
- rusty111fireLv 46 months ago
He’s gonna hate doing the other job when he makes no money out of it too. May as well stick to what he has now, he may not enjoy it as much, but Im sure he’ll enjoy being able to provide a house and food for himself rather than doing something he “loves” and making enough to survive.
- JanetLv 76 months ago
Tell him to start using the cognitive-behavioral psychology that he learned getting his degree.
“72% of business executives are not doing their dream job.
Estimates vary, but some career experts say that up to 90% of educated Americans don’t like what they do for a living.”
(“Real Success Without a Real Job”, Ernie J. Zelinski)
And tell him that happiness is a state of mind, and therefore comes only FROM within our mind.
The more we believe that our happiness depends on outer things, the less happy we will be.
You can tell him these things, but it is up to HIM to use them. You cannot help him, and in fact YOUR task is not to be enmeshed with him .. not to think you can solve his problems for him. This is unhealthy.
Instead, YOUR task is to work with the discomfort YOU are creating inside yourself. Yes, even the discomfort you feel as you watch him trying to learn how to be happy.
As for his career ...
- he can back to university for a Master's or a Ph.d .. but he needs to move quickly, since his degree will become outdated within a couple of years after graduating
- he can decide that a happy job with low pay is preferable to an unhappy job with more pay
- or he can learn to focus on this moment, to discover the vibrancy of being alive
Understand that the ONLY "dream and passion" that produces happiness is looking inward to learn how to work with ourselves better. Nothing outside of ourselves will make us happy unless we already have the skills FOR being happy. Outer things will only temporarily distract us from inner unhappiness.