Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 1 year ago

Is my husband being too strict on our son?

After my son was did not get accepted in the college that he had applied to, my husband enrolled him into a small community college that was close to where he worked. My husband devised a plan to help him get better grades in college. He woke him up at 5:30 am and they left the house at 6 am. When my husband got to work around 7, my son sat in his office and studied until his class began at 12:30pm.

After his class finished at around 2, my son had to go to the library to continue studying until he left work around 5pm. They got home at 6pm and after dinner, my son studied and did homework until bed time at 10pm. On weekends, my son studied and worked on assignments from 12:00 noon until 5 pm, with no breaks. I noticed that my husband rewrote all of his assignments to turn in.

Outside of school, my husband did not allow him to listen to music, especially while studying or watch TV. He also did not allow him to hang out with friends and discouraged him from socializing at school because he felt that the people who attended this school weren't that smart and could be a bad influence.

Eventually, they clashed after my son turned in his own essay, instead of the one my husband rewrote. A few weeks later, my son decided to ditch him to hang out with friends he met in his Speech class. As punishment, my husband decided that he wasn't going to help him anymore. After that, my son actually started doing better in school. Was my husband being too strict?

7 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago
    Favorite Answer

    Really? Why do you even need to ask this question when you already know the answer. Yes, your husband is micro managing your son, to the point where its ridiculous. What he was doing to your son is nothing short of being abusive. Forcing your son to study, go to school with no breaks, no extra curricular activities, no socialization is not healthy. Your husband is 100% wrong in being such a helicopter parent. I would hope that if your son is of legal age (18 or above) that he gets a job and gets out of this nightmare situation. If you are allowing this situation to occur then you are just as guilty.

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  • Hannah
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    Your son is an adult and can make his own decisions. Your husband shouldn't be hovering over him and really has no right to control him like that. It sounds to me like him "not helping" your son anymore wasn't a punishment. It obviously put less pressure on your son, and he managed to adequately study on his own if his grades improved.

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    I'm amazed your son didn't revolt completely and turn his dad into the COPS for being so dammed abusive. He was being subjected to constant emotional abuse for months, if not for years. That's not strictness.

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  • Faith
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    I wouldn't call that being strict. It is being very controlling to the point of abuse.

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  • 1 year ago

    That's not strict.

    That's controlling to the point of abuse.

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  • Eva
    Lv 5
    1 year ago

    If he was only in class for 1 1/2 hrs per day, his study time was excessive. Your husband defeated the purpose by redoing his work. Me thinks I smell a troll.

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    I would smack your husband across the head if I could. I'm glad your son defied him.Life is not all about being better than other people and making more money than so and so, it's about the experiences you make with others as well as yourself, and one day your husband will realise on his death bed that his entire life was a miserable waste if he keeps this attitude up. Why on earth you married someone like him I haven't got a clue. Clearly it wasn't love if he is this hateful towards others. Most likely for money.

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