This girl doesn’t “date” but is looking for the one she wants to marry. So answer me this if you can?

She says time is the most valuable thing to her. And that she doesn’t date but she goes from really good friends to a relationship. If there are any girls out there who are like this. Who would rather get to know someone and see if you’d have similar values over the typical dating. I’m hanging with this girl literally every day of the week which I think is a good sign but it’s still very friend zoney. Her own sister and her husband who is my best friend say they think she likes me but she’s VERY cautious before proceeding to any next step. She invites me to important family events and stuff. Like it seems like we are dating just without the label or the physical stuff. Not even hand holding. Like I said, she sees me every day.

What do you recommend I do? Just wait until she’s finally like “hey let’s do this” or what?

5 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    I can see where she is coming from. I don't date men either - as it makes me feel very uncomfortable being around someone I've only just met & then having to make a decision about them straight after.

    Therefore like this girl - I do tend to get to know a guy first through friends or college or whatever and then if I start to develop feelings for them, then who knows - something may happen?

    I know it's a very long winded & drawn out process which may never lead to anything - but sometimes us girls prefer that than having to date & then sleep with a potential partner only to find they're after someone else in a few weeks time.

    However, I would say if you are still in the friend zone for more than about 6 or 8 months and she has shown no sign of coming onto you, then I would maybe try your luck elsewhere.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    When we're "just friends" we don't get the whole experience of a person to know them well enough to marry. So wait around if you wish but you won't be able to vet her for marriage until you begin a romantic relationship. That adds myriad levels of complication to a pairing and until you've witnessed someone under those conditions for a number of years you don't know them well enough to pledge the rest of your life to them.

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  • Janet
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    She doesn’t get misled by temporary infatuation or passing lust … that dies out and keeps us from actually seeing the real person. Either she is mature and partially understands that infatuation and lust do NOT predict a lasting relationship .. or she is just afraid of getting close and is using this to keep you at arm’s length.

    But she is misunderstanding one thing. At SOME point, she MUST start dating. Because how you are as a friend is NOT how things will be if you two are closer to each other. It takes about years of steady dating before you can see each other clearly, and appraise the potential happiness of a marriage together. This does NOT mean that sex will help .. in fact, sex tends to blind us to seeing each other clearly. But EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT/interactions, over a couple of years, help us know if we should or should not commit.

    Being friends for a couple of years is far preferable to jumping in and becoming involved too soon.

    What do YOU do? You either accept that this is who she is, or you decide you are not satisfied with this and you breaking it off permanently with her.

    Your choice.

    I cannot and will not make the choice for you.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    If there's no immediate feelings of wanting to be with her all the time, no connection and you are still being friend zoned, then you are wasting time with her and vice versa. Since she seems to know exactly what she does want, and you aren't in tune with that, its time to move on from this situation. Or you could just hang around for the next ten years, wasting precious time that would have been better spent on a real relationship. Its a choice you have to make here. Choose wisely.

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  • 6 months ago

    MEN. Speak up! Time is the most valuable thing to her? Then why are wasting hers?

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