Is my anxiety making me paranoid or does my friend not like me?
We’re 18 but weren’t close until high school ended but since then we’ve just been speaking over social media and shes emotionally supportive etcetera. What concerns me is that mostly she seems really distant and as if she doesn’t want to speak to me at all and whenever I arrange to meet her she cancels and tells me she’s really busy with family outings and rarely has time to meet friends. I understand that as she’s Muslim and usually their families are quite close and they don’t venture out much but this got on my nerves a bit and I kept telling her that she’s not really acting as though she wants to be friends with me. Every time I do she always tells me it’s not true at all and she’s just really bad with her phone and that it’s known that she rarely answers messages or sees people and she told me she hasn’t seen her best friend from high school in a long time. I always apologise and I tell her I have really bad anxiety so I usually overthink things a lot but I just feel as though I can’t help but think she still doesn’t want to be friends with me? My sister said it’s obvious she’s not interested in being my friend but I feel maybe she’s telling the truth. Another thing is that she’s quite religious and I wouldn’t say I am at all and she disagrees with things I do (parties etc) but respects our differences but I can’t help but think she doesn’t want to be around me either because we’re different or because I seem so paranoid about things?
- FoofaLv 710 months ago
If her family is very religious and yours isn't it could be her parents throwing up obstacles because they don't approve of you. This may not be her fault at all.
- HelenLv 710 months ago
I have anxiety too so I know it can be tough to see the full picture sometimes.
But there are two options here.
1. Your intuition is spot on and she's not interested in being friends but doesn't know how to say it. Maybe she feels guilty and doesn't want to be the bad guy so she's hoping you'll take the hint and stop contacting her.
Or 2. She does like you/want to be friends but there's something holding her back. Maybe she also has anxiety. Maybe she judges your lifestyle a bit more than you realize or maybe you're just too different to ever really be close.
Either way you don't seem to be getting what you need from the friendship. My advice would be to step back, find new activities, meet new people you have more in common with. If she makes an effort to contact you for a change then great, and if not, you'll have your answer.
- choko_canyonLv 710 months ago
How can we possibly know whether it's just your anxiety or not, when we don't know either of you?
- Anonymous10 months ago
rnaybe you need to get off the computer and get busy and become close again