My partners Stepmum told me she has anger issues - should I be cautious?
She said she had anger issues that she's working on and often has to be held back and told to be nice by his Dad. Should I be glad that she was honest and opened up and that she's working on it? Or see it as a red flag and keep vigilant?
- 6 months agoFavorite Answer
Definitely keep vigilant and expect to have to deal with a few blow ups, because that's what anger issues do. However, don't let it deture you completely. The fact that she was honest with you about what she is going through shows that she is definitely working on it, and is already recovering. The best advice for dealing with anger issues that I have for you, should you decide to stick with it and try to work it out, is to set boundaries, stand firm on them, and try not to engage in negative behavior. Eventually you'll be able to see when she's working herself up, and you'll learn ways to help her defuse the situation at hand. This does NOT mean that she won't slip up; it is very important to remember that. Any issue is difficult to work through, and you have to fall a few times before you truly learn how to glide, but with support and a stable force around, it does make it easier. No matter what your boundaries are, draw the line at abuse. If she starts saying thing just to hurt you or hitting you, you need to leave. Actions have consequences, and while that's a really hard lesson to learn, not allowing her to walk all over you will help her learn to control her temper better.
Best of luck to you.
- PearlLv 76 months ago
i would be careful
- linkus86Lv 76 months ago
This is not a red flag, it's the opposite. She isn't warning you or even trying to excuse her poor behavior. Instead she is opening up to you that like you, she isn't perfect. None of us are. If anything you should feel closer to her.
- Anonymous6 months ago
It's definitely a red flag, and also a strange thing to say, but it's about your partner more than her. Lots of people have loons as parents. The only thing that matters is whether your partner can set boundaries about her behavior.
In a marriage, one of the most basic guidelines is each spouse is responsible for protecting the other from drama or nastiness arising from their "side". In other words, if she has anger issues, this shouldn't impact you in the slightest. If she takes her anger out on you, your "spouse" should impose consequences for this, like cutting off contact. If he won't do this, her anger problems have affected him and turned him into a mama's boy.
I realize I was bouncing between partner and spouse. The same rules pretty much apply, except if he can't protect you from her, don't marry him.
I noticed in one of your questions that she was trying to cause trouble about the 2 of you arguing. What you didn't mention in that question is how your partner handled it. This is the only thing that matters. If he just sort of laughed or dismissed it, this is a red flag. So yeah, stay vigilant, but not about her.
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- RainLv 46 months ago
Try keep your distance from her much as possible you sound like you don’t need the drama who want be around some one you got walk around on eggshells and stepmom negative and she know she got that situation runnnn