Am I in a relationship with this girl or are we just friends?
I've been talking to this girl for a little over a month now online and we've hung out every weekend since then except one. She says she's not talking to other guys and I believe her because she doesn't seem very outgoing at all. The only reason I'm talking to her is because she liked one of my posts on Facebook and I decided to wave to her and then she waved back and we've been talking ever since. She doesn't really flirt or do anything to give me the impression she likes me but when I stop flirting with her or I try to pull back she gets upset. Like when I had her picture as my lock screen and then took it off then asked her for a new selfie to put on there she normally doesn't send me selfies but she did so I could have it as my lockscreen again. I also told her I wasn't going to send good morning or goodnight messages any more because she didn't seem to like them but she said "did I ever say that" and I told her I would still send them and she says "Good!". She seems very shy to me when we hang out but so am I so I haven't made any moves on her yet. I told her I wanted to rest my head on her and she said it would make her uncomfortable and after the 2nd day of hanging out she said she wanted to hug me but she hasn't said it since. I asked if she would date me a while ago and she said let's go slow and then she said on another conversation that she's being very picky over who she dates next. How do I get her to be mine and commit?
I'm only 16 so going on a date isn't really an option right now. We hangout because we don't know what else to do. We thought about going to the movies together but there's never time. By the time we have time alone away from my parents it's time for her to go home.
- AmeliaLv 65 months agoFavorite Answer
It sounds like she may not be interested in you. All you can do is ask her if she'd like to be more than friends and accept whatever her response will be.
- GoodLv 65 months ago
I concluded many years ago that a woman who shows
"an inadequate display of interest" is just biding her
time until someone else comes along. She may
tolerate you giving her attention because a very large
number of them are attention junkies. But if she
doesn't make it clear that she has an interest in you
close to the level you have in her, then she has little
interest in you for the long term and is waiting to
trade you in for the next guy.
- FoofaLv 75 months ago
It's only been a month and rational people don't commit in that short a time. If you keep "talking" and after three months she's still noncommittal about taking the relationship romantic that's when you'll know she's gotten to know you well enough that she'd rather have a platonic relationship with you.
- OcimomLv 75 months ago
How physically close are you? If you live in the same city or close by, maybe invite her out on a casual date and see what happens between you two. If this is not possible, its probably more of a friends thing and not a boyfriend/girlfriend thing.
- How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- Anonymous5 months ago
She’s shy. Let her warm up to you
- 5 months ago
Well, you ask her. If she really is picky and shy, she may genuinely just want to go slow and learn more about you. Choosing a partner is one that, regardless of societies standards, really shouldn't be taken lightly. By agreeing to date someone, you aren't just agreeing to spend most of your time with them; you're agreeing to sample out building a life together, and if that goes well, actually doing the thing. Let her know how you feel, and discuss it with her openly. If she is still unsure, you can decide if you want to wait or not; no one can make that decision for you. Do not try to force her to make up her mind about it before she is ready, though, because even if it works and you two end up dating, there will always be that stress of being unsure in her and it will DEFINITELY cause issues. I know quite a few women who have issues showing affection, and all you can do with that is be you and let her know how you feel and listen to her when she does do that thing where she kinda explains where she stands. Again, if she still needs more time only you can decide to wait for her or not.
- 5 months ago
tldr; I say pop the question.
- NONAMELv 75 months ago
she is yours...just keep going slow...and ask her to be your slow girlfriend
- Alan HLv 75 months ago
It may not be permanent but right=now it is a relationship; all part of the wonder of growing up
- PatriciaLv 75 months ago
So you "hang out"? Didn't you ever hear of taking a girl out on a proper date and showing her a good time? It's what a gentleman does.
- Mio LaTaleLv 75 months ago
Either what you two have right now is only still in first gear or it just might be in friend mode, but then again it HAS only been a month like you said. I mean unless how it is now is OK, why not ask and see where you stand in a romantic sense?