Anonymous
Anonymous asked in HealthWomen's Health · 7 months ago

I told my boyfriend I feel dirty after making love and he was so sad he just consoled me but didn't know what to say he just sighed and?

Looked worried. I lost my virginity to him, consensually, he didn't force me or pressure me at all, he asked me lots of times 'are you sure? Look if you dont feel ready lets forget about that, I love you and I dont care about it, or no, I dont want to hurt you'. He needed lots or reassurances at the beginning, now it's my turn to start the regrets. I feel miserable because when we do it, it feels good and I feel happy, afterwards, like hours or days after, I feel dirty and a bad girl. We dont do anything kinky in bed, just normal love. We kiss each other, fondle, etc... but no oral, no anal, no fingers. We are really traditional in that sense. I am also still not so experienced as we always do the same things. Once he got distracted by my dress and we ended up being late for going out. He jist lifted my skirt, opened the front zip, without even taking off the dress. At the end of it, I felt so dirty and I cant look at that cute dress in the same way. I talked to him about my feelings and he didnt know what to say, he said he was sorry and that I'm not dirty. And if one of the two is dirty it's him not me. I dont know what he meant by it. Maybe to take the blame? He then kissed my head as I was crying trying to explain my feelings and held me tight. What should I dowhy do those bad guilty feelings come afterwards? Why was my boyfriend so sad and shocked about hearing the truth?

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  • 7 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Having sexual relations with someone you love shouldn't make you feel like it's dirty after your done. If you feel good when doing it with him and he likes doing it with you then it's because you love each other. If you are just letting him do it to you because you want to see what it feels like then you might feel guilty after. When a man and woman get married what they do when making out and having sexual intercourse with each other should be that they can do it anyway they want. There's nothing wrong with that.

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  • 7 months ago

    I think you shouldn’t have sex again until you feel you find the right one. You might not really love him and that’s why you feel dirty or used. Once you find the right guy you’re in love with you will feel like you’re sharing part of yourself with someone you’re madly in love with. You’re just not ready and he’s not the right one maybe.

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  • 7 months ago

    Maybe you just have different morals. And that’s okay. If you don’t want to have sex until you are older or married just tell him you want to stop and are not ready, if he loves you then he will listen and try to understand and if he can’t deal with that he is not right for you. Do what makes you feel good about who you are as a person. Do not just follow what kids are doing now a days. You are your own person and this is your life. Live it for you.

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  • 7 months ago

    It's not fair that you feel dirty... those feelings are inferior things... Block them, you're a superior being and deserve power... and weakness is against power... Watch you!

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  • 7 months ago

    seek professional help

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  • :)
    Lv 5
    7 months ago

    I don’t understand this; you did it. There is no going back. Sex is a normal, harmless thing that people in relationships do. As long as you’re safe, you are fine and there no need to feel crappy, and make him feel crappy. It’s simply not fair.

    If you need time apart, then take it. Because your relationship is not in a good place right now if this is the stuff you’re going to continue to say to him. Process your emotions for a few days by journaling, talking to a trusted friend, etc.

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  • k w
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    you're just a typical girl worried about everything, and it's nice he's nice to you, but as you get closer to being a full fledged woman, you'll start worrying less and less.....it's something to look forward to......don't know what else to say........

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  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    That is hurtful. What do you expect him to feel after you put all that guilt on him? Maybe you need to give him space and not crowd him or constantly ask him why he's upset. If you are feeling guilty, that's something that you need to deal with in therapy. Telling a guy you feel dirty is a pretty heavy thing to say right after making love. It may impact his ability to show intimacy to you from this point forward. You need to learn to phrase things better. When you tell your partner that he or she hurt you physically or did something wrong it does have lasting effects and can wreck the relationship. Especially if this was also his first time.

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  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    Church brainwashing?

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