Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingPregnancy · 7 months ago

My friend recently gave birth (had no idea she was pregnant) should I reach out or take it as a sign to not to?

One of my long time friends gave birth, I was shocked as I saw it on Facebook last week. I had no idea she was pregnant and am surprised she never reached out to tell me. I feel if she did not do this she is not interested in keeping in touch. I have not spoken to her in about 10 months, last time I saw her was at my wedding. I was in her wedding a year before I had mine, and I did not ask her to be in my wedding and felt awkward about it, so I did not talk to her much during my wedding planning process. I have not heard from her since I got married.

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  • 7 months ago

    No ! ..... You absolutely can't take the baby ...It is HERS at least until proven that she can't take care of it .

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  • Cammie
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    Call her and congratulate her .Ask her if she would like to see you for a short time Let her know that she can use this time to take a shower or tend to other children.

    Show up with a couple of meals for the fridge or freezer and a bag of diapers .You might want to get her some thing special for herself.A new pillow or a lovely pillow case.a bed tray ,Pj's or warm slippers .Just some thing simple just for her. Only stay about half an hour. Wish her the best and leave.Call her again the next week.

    • John P
      Lv 7
      7 months agoReport

      No harm in congratulating her.

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  • 7 months ago

    Reach out? Maybe she’s just been too busy

    • Tomalochk
      Lv 6
      7 months agoReport

      She's been busy alright !

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  • LizB
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    She might have had a difficult pregnancy, or had a lot of complicated personal things going on at the time (like maybe job loss or splitting with her husband or something) and hasn't been talking to anyone really. If that's the case I wouldn't take it personally, and I *definitely* wouldn't take it personally if she doesn't reach out much the first year or so of her baby's life. Having a baby is beyond exhausting, and most days she'll be lucky if she gets a shower much less time to call an old friend.

    If you want to maintain your friendship, send your friend a note of congratulations and buy a baby gift. Whether you take it by yourself or have it mailed is up to you. Then be patient, she has a lot on her plate right now. She may reach out and start being more social again once her baby is a little older, or she might not, but if she's important to you and you want to keep the friendship then you should be the one willing to reach out and stay in touch and remind her that you're thinking about her, even if you don't get a lot back for a while. Someday the tables may be turned and YOU are the one overwhelmed with life events, but reassured by the fact that your friends are still there and still care about you.

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  • 7 months ago

    Why wouldn't you reach out? If you only offer friendship in return for something, that isn't much of a friendship.

    If you guys were such long-standing friends for her to ask you to be in her wedding, sounds like she's probably offended you didn't include her in yours in some way. You couldn't even ask her to be guest book attendant or something? She isn't the one who dropped the friendship ball here.

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  • MissA
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    Do you still want to be friends with this woman?

    Because if not you’re allowed to let the relationship die naturally. People grow and change and move on.

    If you do, then yes, reach out. *She* may not feel the same way, in which case you should respect that and move on... but maybe she’s in the same situation of not knowing whether you still want to be real friends instead of face book acquaintances.

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  • Pippin
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    Looks like you are casual friends who don't talk much. That's fine. And for whatever reason, she didn't want to publicize her pregnancy, since she didn't mention it on FB until she gave birth.

    What to do is up to you. You can send her a message or card of congratulations. Or you can just respond on FB.

    • Tomalochk
      Lv 6
      7 months agoReport

      It's a little late for a massage now don't you think ! ....That might be how she became pregnant in the first place ....Who knows what all goes on in those places .

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  • Sandy
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    I think your friendship is done.

    • Tomalochk
      Lv 6
      7 months agoReport

      Especially if she tries to take the baby .

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  • God
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    Send her an email of congratulations. Ask her if she wants to get together.

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