who should i listen to?
i am a mother of a 13 year old girl, i found out yesterday that she had skipped school and snuck into a pub where she faked being 18 and had some drinks with her friends. i wasn't sure how to punish her so i told her i would decide on her punishment soon. i asked my husband who is away on a work trip and he advised me to just talk to her about what she did. i also asked my sister who has 2 children of her own and she said i should ground her. i'm not sure who to listen to, my partner or my sister?, or should i decide on a different way myself?.
- Anonymous7 months agoFavorite Answer
When people tell you to talk to her, yes of course. You want to know what she was thinking. But this should never be a substitute for punishment. What she did was incredibly immature, risky and dangerous. If all you do is discuss it, she'll feel like she outsmarted you. And she'd be right.
It's also a wake up call to you and her dad. At only 13, you should have a much better idea where she is and who she's with. Obviously, you didn't know about skipping school, but who were these older teens and how does she know them? In a lot of cases, this has to do with careless monitoring of phone use. If she goes to bed with her phone at night, or you don't have passwords to all accounts, GPS monitoring connected to your phone, etc all of this needs to change.
- JoeLv 67 months ago
Talk to her. I hope you have a good enough relationship for honesty. If you want to give her one break this time, go ahead. But make it clear if she does anything like this again, it'll be curtains for her.
- 7 months ago
The U.K. must not have bouncers checking IDs like they do the in the U.S.
Talk to her and ask her why she wants to be pregnant so badly.
- edwardLv 77 months ago
Both, ground her because what she did was wrong and illegal. Talk to her about why it is that way.
Then talk to the pub owner and ask what kind of drugs the bouncer is on to not notice she’s a baby and how to check for fake ID’s
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- Anonymous7 months ago
What did you have in mind? Was she remorseful? She needs to be heavily punished. What she did is serious and she's got to understand that. Hope what she did isn't a sign of her future. Tell her you don't want a daughter growing up to be trouble for you and a failure to herself.
- David B.Lv 77 months ago
I would try to find out who she did this with and notify their parents first. Second I would do whatever I could to ensure you know where she is at all times. Call the school and ask to be notified any time she misses attendance. If you don't put a stop to her thinking she can do this without severe consequences it will get to the point where you won't be able to control her at all!
- pattyLv 57 months ago
talking to someone is not punishment. she needs to be punished. Take away her phone for a week.
- Anonymous7 months ago
Make her watch several hours of Obama and Hillary speeches. I guarantee she'll never do it again after that.