Past Bullying Has Made Me An Angry Person? How Do I Change?

From 4th grade to 5th grade, I was bullied by these two girls I called my friends every single day. They would constantly single me out and target me to insult. Finally I decided to report them to the principal and although they didn’t entirely stop insulting me, at least they started to accept me more. Then when I... show more From 4th grade to 5th grade, I was bullied by these two girls I called my friends every single day. They would constantly single me out and target me to insult. Finally I decided to report them to the principal and although they didn’t entirely stop insulting me, at least they started to accept me more. Then when I went on to 6th grade those girls went to a different middle school along with most of my other classmates. Then in middle school, I was bullied by two students, except this time they were boys. They were friends and I sat between them and they would call me various insults on the daily. There are plenty of other bullying stories involving me but it’ll be too long of a story. Let’s say the bullying was very heavy in 6th grade and generally decreased when I became an 8th grader. Now, I’m about to become a senior in high school and whenever someone angers me (such as my sister) I have an irresistible urge to say anything as cruel as I can to them. Once I got into a fight with her and I had flashbacks of the bullying that occurred when I was younger, so then I started telling her to just die. Obviously I know this isn’t a healthy way to cope with anger, but I just can’t help it. Any advice that can help me before I worsen?
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