Is it evil to hate to see people ''happy, smiling, grinning etc''?

ive had this trait for a long time now and i'm a male in my early 40's...i have mental struggles and i've endured a difficult life and thus far, never found any relationships, never had a female partner. ive lived alone in a council flat for 14 year living a lonely existence. whenever i see people... show more ive had this trait for a long time now and i'm a male in my early 40's...i have mental struggles and i've endured a difficult life and thus far, never found any relationships, never had a female partner.

ive lived alone in a council flat for 14 year living a lonely existence.

whenever i see people happy in general, grinning, smiling etc - it fills me with anger and resentment and i feel angry towards them, feel like confronting them and ''kicking off'' with them.

why is that? is is because ive had to endure a difficult life and missed out on relationships? is it too late to change it?


i must admit, i do enjoy feeling like that...in general, i go around being aloof, distant to people and feeling miserable....i am a very lonely man.
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