I hate myself and I need a hug. What should I do?

I used to think that I was a person built like anyone else, with the potential of anyone else. This year and a half has kind of broken that for me. First, I found out that I had a birth defect and would never have children. Then, I got diagnosed with autism. Just recently, I ruined my first serious relationship... show more I used to think that I was a person built like anyone else, with the potential of anyone else. This year and a half has kind of broken that for me. First, I found out that I had a birth defect and would never have children. Then, I got diagnosed with autism. Just recently, I ruined my first serious relationship (which admittedly wasn’t great) because apparently some events from my past affected me more than I thought, and I’m apparently a psychological mess when it comes to heterosexual sex. It feels like I’m a walking mound of defects. Like God never wants my genes to see the light of day, or he wouldn’t have spayed me, miswired my brain, and let nonsense happen to me until I became unable to maintain heterosexual relationships (at least, until I get months of therapy). I don’t usually let it get to me, but I hate thinking about myself now. I feel like I have less inherent worth than other people. I know that others have it worse. Maybe I’m just down on myself because of my recent breakup. I miss physical affection. I don’t know what I should do, if anything. What was God thinking when he made me?
31 answers 31