Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 7 months ago

Should I speak to the groom s mother?

I just recently attending a bridal shower for my friend. None of her bridesmaid nor her mother threw her a shower so the groom s mother did. I know the groom s family, the bride, and a few bridesmaids. So, when I got my invitation I asked the groom s mom if she needed help with the shower. She said she could get back to me after speaking to the bridemaids. She then asked if I could bring a breakfast item. I agreed to bring blueberry scones. Two weeks later I get a text from the groom s mom with menu for the shower. My name and dish wasn' t on there (Mind you the list consist of just the ladies from our church..no bride family. no bridesmaid), but she was implying that she still needed two people to bring a veggie side and breakfast casserole. I once again said, I would bring blueberry scones as I mention. At the shower, no name place for my dish, no thank you. As soon as I put my purse on a chair she ran up to me told me, Oh you can t sit here, or there (points to front table, nor there (points to table next to it). These are reserved for bridal party, and family (no signs on the table btw). My friend (who happen to be standing next to me) asked her, were would you like us to go? The groom mom pointed to the two back tables.

So, my question is..Should I speak up to the groom s mother about her being rude? I m really upset that there wasn t any appreciation for the help, nor a thank you for coming. I felt abused and used by her. What should I do?

15 Answers

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  • 7 months ago

    There really is nothing to discuss. You were invited to an organized event for which you really had no substantial part in other than offering to bring something to eat. You are not entitled to be seated with the bridal attendants or the bride/grooms family.

    For you to take some sort of offense is rather odd. There comes a time when one has to pick their battles and figure out what to do about injustices; but this is not one of those times and you really do need to let this go as it is done and over with and you misunderstood your role in the bridal shower.

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  • 7 months ago

    You seem to take offense easily and be very confused about several issues here.

    1. Anyone can host a shower. It doesn't need to be a member of the bride's family and the bridesmaids and family don't need to be involved in any part of it other than showing up as a guest.

    2. Your big mistake was not CALLING the host of the shower and clarifying what was needed. Your offer of scones was nice, but as the menu changed the need for that item changed. You were naive and rude to assume the host would accommodate your scones when it was clear they wanted something else. A simple phone call could have clarified that and you were free NOT to provide any dish at all.

    3. Bringing a dish to a potluck shower doesn't entitle you to any seat at any particular table. The host of the shower determines the seating arrangements just as the bride will determine the seating arrangements at the reception.

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  • 7 months ago

    Ño you should not. She seemed rude but you are worse.

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  • GEEGEE
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    No, just move forward. The incident cannot be undone in any event.

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  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    No, you should move on with life and let it go.

    First, this was a day about the bride... not you.

    Second, I own a bakery and scones are more of a dessert.. not a breakfast item and definitely not a casserole. It's nice that you offered to bring them, but you really shouldn't need any type of special recognition for it. Were you offering it for the praise?

    She was tacky on a few points here but saying something to her is going to create more problems than it will solve.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    It's the bride's shower, not yours, and the groom's mom probably didn't anticipate being in this situation. Also it doesn't sound like she even knows you. Assuming the bride is really your friend don't go to war with her future mother-in-law over something that sounds like just a misunderstanding. All you can do is make the bride look bad in her eyes.

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    No you should not speak to the grooms mother.

    Ok so your scones got a bit lost in the chaos of the planning. Did you hand the MOG the scones directly? Did she just grab them from you?

    Could she of been a better host and politely directed you to a table, Yes.

    Should of good host gotten back to you with a confirmation on you bringing scones, Yes.

    What would you say to her? I am calling to tell you that you never thanked me for bringing scones?

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  • Eva
    Lv 4
    7 months ago

    A) Blueberry scones are not a breakfast casserole B) You seem to think you deserve special treatment or are seeking recognition. C) You seem to be looking for a confrontation. None of this was about you. It was about the bride and the groom's family. Get over it.

    • Sargwife7 months agoReport

      Thank you for your advice. Truly, that was not my intent to look for special treatment. I did this for my friend who is the bride. I do want to say that the groom mother and I both agreed when we spoke the first time that scones are fine. She conformed it and was okay with me bring them.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    i would talk to her about it

    • Sargwife7 months agoReport

      Thank you for your advice.

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  • 7 months ago

    I dont think you would come out of this with ANY satisfaction.

    Any grown woman, who can behave like that, is not likely to be conjusive to criticism.

    She behaved appaulingly without a doubt, as it stands you have the higher moral ground, stay there

    • Sargwife7 months agoReport

      Thank you for your advice.

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