Guilty after having oral sex.... I feel like I’m grieving the lost of something? Will God forgive me and will any man ever respect me?
I’m 20 years old and I recently had oral sex with two different guys. The first time I felt okay and like my normal self but this time hit different and I’m not sure why. Is it because I have always liked this guy since we were 14? I don’t know but I just feel like I disappointed God especially since after the first encounter I had planned on waiting until I found the right guy to enjoy it with again. While we didn’t have vaginal or anal sex and I didn’t allow him to perform oral sex on me... I’m not sure what this means. Am I still a virgin? Will my potential husband ever respect me as his wife? I’ve been trying to grow a closer bond to God but I feel like I’ve just disappointed him so much. I feel like I’m grieving the loss of someone and I’m trying not to sink into depression but I feel like it’s coming. What if my future boyfriend or husband looks at me as a **** and doesn’t respect me? I know what’s done is done but I feel like I ruined my life. Please no rude comments... my faith is important to me and I definitely won’t be doing this again but for right now I need to find a way to get over this.. I was so proud of myself for sub-staining from sex unlike my friends because you know it’s hard but I caved and I just feel so sad.
I would like to add that I did consent both encounters as this has happened over the course of a few weeks. So it’s not like it all happened in the same night or anything.
- 4 months ago
It depends... WERE you good, Did you swallow or Spit, and DID it drool and drip off your chin onto your chest? We need more information and the details of it to make an informed decision.
- Anonymous7 months ago
If you did not have sex in-between your legs, you are virgin there still.
There is another name for what you are describing. I do not recall its name.
In the Bible it states: If a person even thinks of having sex with one they are Not married to, they are sinning then. If a couple are found in bed together that are not married to each other, then Death for Both! Doing it is far worse! If the girl was being Raped, then she is to live and the Rapist Death!
- SBR32277Lv 77 months ago
It is easy for a highly Intelligent Being to forgive anything we children do. That is not the issue. The issue is can you forgive yourself? It is easy to feel guilty even if the guilt is not deserved. You basically put yourself in the doughnut situation of a dieter. You know the doughnut is not good for you but your sweet tooth graves it. Your dilemma is that you wanted to have oral sex with these guys but you believe God wants you to deny your sexual urges, supposedly for your own good, until you take your vows of marriage. You are thinking of yourself, but it is going to be real hard to find a virgin husband in this day and age who I guarantee you has done a lot more sexual acts than you. That is not to say that you should not try to refrain from sex if that makes you happy. I understand Christianity as well as other religions teach to wait until marriage because that is what God wants, but I don't think that is the case. I think it is respectable to have sex in "serious" relationships, no future husband would fault you for that. Casual sex is more problematic because it is just for the sex, which cheapens it, but even that is not necessarily bad. The primary concern that I even see Jesus often address in the NT is potential harm that we can cause ourselves and others from our human nature and learning to forgive ourselves when we make mistakes. The guilt comes for doing something you wanted to do even though you believed it to be wrong. The real question is "is it really wrong?" and if it truly is "why?". In biblical days, it made sense to get married before sex because there was no birth control. The commitment was to raise the children together that would surely come from a sexual relationship. It is more likely that society wanted this than God, but I could see God supporting this because it makes good sense. Also people were getting married when their hormones began to surge, so no problem. Today we have birth control and we are waiting much longer before getting married. We have sexual urges for good reason, but have the ability to better control when we want children and how many children we want. If you really believe God wants you to refrain from sex, no matter the reason, you don't have to feel bad about your emotions winning out a couple of times and simply try harder to battle your feelings. A possible bad side effect that I remember seeing many Christians in my day do is to be so sexually frustrated that they just rushed into marriage to have sex only to end up divorced down the road. Sex does not cause loss of respect, the scenario in which sex is used is what can cause loss of respect and loss of self respect.
- K MLv 67 months ago
Yes! God has already forgiven you! What you did is instinctual. Everyone wants to have oral sex because it feels so good, and it's fun to give as well. I don't know why you didn't "let" him go down on you! Would you lose respect for him if he went down on you? I didn't think so, and I doubt that he'll lose respect for you since you went down on him. God gave us our individual scents to help entice or partners. Everyone has their own unique scent. It's all a part of our DNA. And you are human. Human's do things that society tells them that they're not supposed to do. Have you ever noticed how the TV preachers always end up in a sex scandal? It's because it's all about human nature, and our instincts. Forgive yourself and you'll be fine!
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- JenniferLv 67 months ago
Of course God will forgive you. If there is any truth to your story, he knows you regret it, and will absolutely forgive you, and yes, you are still technically a virgin.
Any man you are supposed to end up with later, either doesn't need to hear the gory details of your "sex life" before him--my preference--or, if you feel you have to tell him, he will understand. Either way, don't beat yourself up. God will forgive you, and you should also forgive yourself. What you need to do now is concentrate on making sure you don't let yourself get into that situation again.
- FireballLv 77 months ago
DO NOT WORRY AND DO NOT POST SUCH PERSONAL THINGS EITHER...BAD IDEA...THERE IS SOMEONE FOR EVERYONE AND MAYBE MORE THAN THAT...I HAVE LOVED 5 MEN IN MY LIFE..
- 7 months ago
Why the heck are you feeling guilty about consensual oral sex?
Did your mummy and daddy do a number on you while you were growing up and tell you only good little girls with intact hymens were valuable enough subhumans to be owned by a real human with a penis?
That's just sad.
- 7 months ago
I think what is done is done like you said. However tomorrow is a new day and you can always start new again. Pray and ask for forgiveness if this is making you feel guilty. I think that oral sex may be better performed in a serious relationship, between two people in love, mature, committed and serious about each other. So no matter what your beliefs are I think try to be more responsible about this. But for now what is done is done. We all make mistakes honey. But you can pray and start anew and stick to your promises..