He rejected me after 9 dates. I asked him what he wants out of this. He said he doesn’t know bt he likes hanging out with me?

During our 9 dates we had no sex. I wanted to wait to know we were on the same page before doing it. He wanted sex by the 4th date.

We met up twice after that and messed around (again no sex). He still maintains that he doesn’t know what he wants/ wants something casual. We decided to meet up and I said we should be friends. He is the one who took me up on the offer to meet but both times we got physical with each other again. I initiated the physical stuff. 😑. The last time we met up I said I’m ok for being just casual.

But it’s been a month and he doesn’t reach out for sex. When I tried going down on him he said no. But he asked if he could go down on me and went down on me.

He never initiates but when I do he always replies.

Since he rejected me once is there ever a chance that this guy could like me again?

I always ask him if there is another girl and he says no. But this time he said he met someone but he prefers me over her.

So why can’t he commit? He also said that one girl cheated on him. This was a while back I think but as he said this his voice was breaking

3 Answers

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  • Janet
    Lv 7
    1 year ago
    Favorite Answer

    Most guys date for sex, not for a relationship.

    And those who ARE looking for a relationship, take about a YEAR of steady dating before they know if it is YOU they want a relationship with.

    So he was almost-certainly being honest when he replied that he doesn't know what he wants out of this.

    Few guys are ready to settle down until they get bored with being single (often because their buddies have all married and are too busy now) AND they have their finances and career where they want them.

    Until then, girls are just for passing time with .. and maybe having some sex.

    It sounds like MAYBE he was not able to deal with the hurt of this other girl cheating on him. Which means he cannot find the courage now TO open up to love, to need, to vulnerability, to uncertainty.

    Which means he is not relationship material, and will not be until he DOES get over his past hurt.

    But it would be totally inappropriate for you to pry into his psyche about this.

    He doesn't offer what you want, so why are you wasting time with him? You would need for him to change .. or for you to change. And change takes YEARS, usually starting out with some therapy.

    No relationship is without flaws, and either we are able to accept and relax about the flaws or we end up losing the relationship. Which is why relationships are THE hardest thing we can ever do in life. And also why it is SO important for both people to be "on the same page".

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  • 1 year ago

    Cut him loose. That's a lot of red flags for such a short story. In the future, any kind of "he doesn't know what he wants" should go straight into your relationship spam file. You deserve a guy who knows he wants to be with you.

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    You are easy so he wants to keep you for a bit of fun.

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