How to make my wife and my sister get along?
My younger sister is 17. She lives with me and my wife. They fight everyday. Mainly because my wife is trying to impose a certain discipline on my sister and she’s in that teenage rebellious stage. I understand this and in the same time I don’t want to give my sister the impression that she’s not welcome in my home. My home is her home. So I’m trying to stay in the middle and not take sides, but the situation does not improve. They each expect me to take their side Any ideas?
- kavanaLv 49 months agoFavorite Answer
Yes,sit them both down and set the rules.Or chat with them indivdually and make them understand how each of them are making you feel and work on a better solution.I have teenage kids too my ex living with me and wife and our kids.If my wife has a problem she will tell me and If i agree.I will sort it out with my teenagers.If i dont agree i will sort it out with my wife.Its all about making them understand the other ones actions and where each one is coming from?You are not taking sides,you just have an open mind too both sides.Even if they dont talk eachother.As long as they respect eachother than thats good enough.
- FoofaLv 79 months ago
If you lack the perspective to know that your wife is your life partner while your sister is just a sibling you may not be the best mediator for this situation. You don't get to move a child into your home and then step away while your wife is left trying to raise said child. Either act like an adult yourself and put your sister in her teenage place or find another place for her to live. It's surprising your wife even tolerates this.
- sheloves_dabluesLv 79 months ago
You're a coward. This is YOUR sister. YOU are fully responsible for imposing the rules and discipline, NOT your wife. Man up and take responsibility for your part in this. You and your wife decide what the house rules are. You BOTH enforce them. It's called being a focking adult and it's time you step up to the plate and start acting like one.
- Barb OuthereLv 79 months ago
Any ideas? Yeah grow a pair.
Your wife knows this teen needs disciple, that this "teenage rebellious stage" can lead to decisions that she may regret for a lifetime (teen pregnancy, sexual diseases, bad reputation, legal problems or police record for example), unless some adult takes charge. You don't want to, not because she might not feel welcome in your home, but because you KNOW it will be HARD work to do so, and you want her to see you as her friend and big brother, and not as a parent figure.
She doesn't need another friend right now, she needs a concerned adult helping her through this stage of her life. Be that for her. Your wife is right, she NEEDS you to do this for your sister.
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- AnaLv 69 months ago
You actually DO need to take sides. Because your wife is your spouse and your partner for life, you actually need to take your wife's side.
Now if your wife is doing something totally horrible, then you should talk to your wife in private about it, and explain to her that you can’t support her because of this very clear reason.
But if it’s a neutral thing, where it could go either way, then you need to side with your wife. Period
This is especially true because y’all have been nice enough to let your sister live with you guys, and in return she’s being bratty and ungrateful
- VAALv 49 months ago
This is your home and your wifes home! your sister is merely a guest. I am on your wife's side in this one. Sit down with your wife and sister and make the rules clear if she is to remain there. If she can't abide, she has to leave. There is always compromise..try and get them to compromise on some of these rules.