Husband has Aspergers, I am pregnant. He’s recently told me he sees me as the mother of his child as opposed to his wife. Looking for advice?
My husband and I have been together for 10 years. I have always been aware of his aspergers, something my family member also has. So I have always looked for ways to enhance his life I.e planned events have to be written down on our fridge. Routine is big in his life (and now mine). Dogs are good for emotional support for people with aspergers so we have our dog too.
Changes in life is his downfall, when we first lived together it took months for him to cope, with us trying varying coping mechanisms. We found out we are pregnant and my main goal in the pregnancy has been to prepare him (we have a list of items needed to be bought). We frequently discuss situations that could arise when baby is here and how we would handle them. We are also booked for parenting/labour classes
I noticed he had been avoiding touching my stomach now baby is kicking and wondered if this was sensory. After talking it through with him he’s told me he doesn’t see me as his wife anymore, instead just someone who is changing and will have a baby an be the mother of his baby. He doesn’t find me sexual like he used to. My libido has increased during pregnancy and he told me he feels pressured by that.
My question is how can I show him that a baby is here to enhance our life, not take away from our relationship. That I still am his wife, not just a parent?
- InLv 75 months agoFavorite Answer
Some men are attracted to the form of a pregnant woman, while many are not. He appears to be the latter. Some part of his distancing himself may be because he feels like he is no longer the center of your attention. Women are swirling with all kinds of hormones during pregnancy and being aroused is perfectly normal and healthy. Don't expect things to return to normal immediately after the birth since you will now be caring for two. Enlist the help of family and friends during the first few months until your household can settle down to the new routine. Try getting intimate again after you have lost some of the excess fluids that were retained from pregnancy. If that doesn't work seek counseling.
- myfavouritelucyLv 75 months ago
JESUS, but do you sound a gigantic pain in the a**. 90% of me thinks you are troll, but in the small possibility of this being genuine, you obviously think you are sound real intelligent, real clever. You seem to consider everything an exercise in your self imposed role as mental health genius. God help us all if you really are the future parent. You sound ridiculous.... you really really do. If you're so damn clever, why are you asking thousands of total strangers for advice? Performance parenting??