Fluent speakers of English, I need your help with my English?

I need to translate a poetic text but my English is not very good. Should I change this paragraph to make it sound more natural? I would be very grateful for any answers. The sea does not freeze in winter. I discovered this when I was living here outside summer months. When snow-covered trails of sand stretches... show more I need to translate a poetic text but my English is not very good. Should I change this paragraph to make it sound more natural? I would be very grateful for any answers.

The sea does not freeze in winter. I discovered this when I was living here outside summer months. When snow-covered trails of sand stretches across up to the sunset horizon. When you inhale cold yet extremely pure and fresh air it seems like it fills you from head to toe. Only the sea has a magical power which makes you fall in love with winter.
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