Fluent speakers of English, I need your help with my English?

I need to translate a poetic text but my English is not very good. Should I change this paragraph to make it sound more natural? I experienced the closeness to the element of water when I was running with my kids along the coast, trying to jump over waves carelessly. When I was listening to the waves crashing... show more I need to translate a poetic text but my English is not very good. Should I change this paragraph to make it sound more natural?

I experienced the closeness to the element of water when I was running with my kids along the coast, trying to jump over waves carelessly. When I was listening to the waves crashing against each other as I was sitting near campfire in the evening. It feels like time is measured here in the crashes of the waves crashing on the shore and not in minutes.
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