Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 6 months ago

problem with my aunt and i don’t know how to deal with it?

so my mom and i have a close relationship. she’s like my best friend but i mostly appreciate her as a mother. she is the best mother i could ever ask for. well, ive been having issues with my aunt for a while, who also considers my mom a best friend. she’s an attention seeking type of person and she also seems like the jealous type. it’s like im in a competition with her for my mom’s attention and it bothers me so much. she says things like ‘she always gets your attention’ to my mom (talking about me). and one time my mom and i were having a conversation and my aunt walked in and said ‘am i interrupting something?’ and my mom jokingly said yes. so she left and then came back a few minutes later (literally hardly even a few...) and said ‘okay yalls time is up’. and she does several little things like this whenever me and my mom are doing anything together or talking. and it just seems so incredibly childish to me. so every time she comes around now i just feel physically upset. and she makes it seem as if she’s more important as my mom’s sister than i am as her daughter. ive been trying to just not be bothered by it but it’s so hard. and i also have another aunt, who’s my mom’s sister as well. i DO NOT even have this problem with her, PERIOD. i feel like a baby and stupid that i even feel upset over this but she just makes me feel like i don’t matter to my mom as much as she apparently does. and sometimes it even makes me mad at my mom and that isn’t fair at all.

4 Answers

  • 6 months ago

    I have three suggestions:

    1. End the competition by asking Mom for specific times when you all can focus on each other without interruption. That way Mom and you can put your aunt on notice to stay away during these periods.

    2. Befriend your Aunt too. Doing so will end (or at least lower) the competition for Mom's attention. But to do so may require you to spend some time with your aunt without Mom.

    3. Tell your aunt how you feel. She likely doesn't realize the competition you feel is going on. And once she does, she may be more sensitive to it.

    • 6 months agoReport

      yep that’s true.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    rnaybe you should hang out with your rnorn sornewhere else once in a while so your aunt dont get a chance to walk in on you

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    I do agree that you need to spend time with your mom alone, have you talked to your mom about this? If not you really need to have a chat with your mom so she can address it to her sister. There do need to be boundaries, but you also have to realize your mom had a life before you were born, it sounds like your mom and her sister grew up very close. Does your aunt have children of her own? When I was 22 and my sister got pregnant at 24, it was hard for me because up until that moment we did everything together I considered her my bestfriend. However I realized that I'm the adult and that the child will need her more than I ever could. Sounds like your aunt needs that realization. How often is your aunt around?

    • 6 months agoReport

      but also thank you for your answer. it does offer some perspective. they are close and i have no problem with that. i just wish she wouldn’t act the way she does because it just seems immature to me. and makes me feel not important to my mom even though im literally her daughter

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Sorry but it seems like this jealousy is going both ways.. you seem jealous of the time your aunt spends with your mom because you think it should be spent with you.

    If you're having issues with your aunt then you need to address it with her, she may or may not realize there is an issue or that she's doing anything unless you talk to her about it and you need to do it yourself not ask someone else to do it.

    You need to realize that while she's your mom there is people in life you have to share her with, her sister is one of them.

    • 6 months agoReport

      i am a jealous person and i know it about myself but i typically don’t get jealous when my mom spends time with other people. my aunt making the comments she makes has made me feel jealous now when she comes around. and i can’t address it with her she would probably think im crazy.

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